


Only You

by NympheSama



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-03 15:17:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 30,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13343940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NympheSama/pseuds/NympheSama
Summary: Tweek is feeling abandoned. It's been weeks since he and Craig even really spoke, and the distance between them is taking a toll on the blond's heart. Feeling lost and betrayed, Tweek isn't sure he can take the loneliness anymore





	1. Owner Of A Lonely Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [Only you |Traducción|](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16081571) by [Maya_0196](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maya_0196/pseuds/Maya_0196)



Tweek sighed, laying on his back on the School roof, staring at the clouds as they lazily drifted by. He took no particular pleasure from watching them, but he did spend time looking at each one, picking out shapes and images hidden within the fluffy whiteness. It was a way to pass the time, in the peace and quiet of his own company. It wasn't so long ago that he hated his own company, the thoughts that swept through him would torment him, causing him to twitch and freak out at the slightest provocation.

He closed his eyes and grit his teeth as a familiar pain rushed through him, but he stomped it down and refused to let it settle in his heart or his mind. He made his mind count the stars that appeared behind his eyelids, using them as a distraction until the phantom pain finally went away. He sighed once more, opening his eyes and rolling to his side to stare out between the railings. He could just make out the edge of Stark Pond.

He flinched as the loud School bell rang out, the long shrill piercing the calm afternoon and signalling the end of another School day. He probably should have felt bad that he ditched his final class, but he couldn't find it in his heart to feel anything but relief. He rolled to his hands and knees, and crept to the edge of the roof, watching between the railings as students began to flow out of the School doors like a tidal wave, each kid more eager than the last to escape for another evening. Tweek just rolled his eyes, and sat as still as he could as he watched his fellow students sweep out of the School and off to their respective homes. He looked for the familiar blob of yellow upon a blue chullo hat, and when he finally spotted it, he ducked down as low as he could, his eyes just barely peeking over the edge of the roof.

Craig never once looked up, he didn't even seem to notice that Tweek wasn't there at all. Tweek's heart began to twitch worse than his body ever had, almost as if it had absorbed all his twitchy tendencies right into itself, while his mind and body remained numb. The blond boy watched from his hiding place, as the boy he loved walked away without so much as a backward glance, the dark haired boys attention focused entirely on the girl walking beside him. Tweek chuckled dryly to himself, barely even able to shed a tear, after already spilling so many over the previous couple of weeks. It wasn't that he didn't care anymore, only that, he had come to accept that Craig had finally moved on.

Their relationship had been unexpected. It had come from nothing but the fantasies of the Asian girls in the School, their yaoi pictures causing confusion from the moment Wendy revealed them in assembly one morning. However the fake break-up Craig had planned for them had, well, not gone to plan. Tweek had taken to heart the encouragement the dark haired boy had given him, and his improvisations had upset the blue hat loving boy when they made their non-existent relationship and fake break-up seem far too existent and real.

Craig almost hadn't forgiven him, had even sent him away when Tweek tried to apologize, upon realizing the severity of his mistake. Tweek had lain awake the entire night, which admittedly wasn't such a big deal for him, but it was for the first time, not because he was too jacked up on coffee. For the first time, Tweek couldn't sleep, because of a  _person._ Admittedly, before that night he hadn't given any consideration whatsoever to his sexuality, but the subject seemed to have already been decided for him. For although he had never actually been together with Craig, he suddenly couldn't fathom  _not_ being with Craig. Tweek had tugged his hair until it very nearly came out, but had eventually trained himself to count the stars out of his window, and drifted off to a semi-restful slumber.

As he had walked through the town the next morning, he wasn't sure who was more upset about his not real relationship having fake broken up; himself, or every adult in the entire town, or so it seemed. He had been most surprised when a blue obstruction stood in his path. Upon raising his eyes from the ground, he had found the blue obstruction to be Craig, offering him his hand. Tweek had barely hesitated, the unease in him suddenly gone, as his hand slipped into Craig's. They had walked across the entire town so that everyone could see them. It had been the best day of Tweek's life. From that day forward, the two were inseparable. They played games, went for walks and dates, even bought a Guinea Pig together. Tweek's most cherished memory was of Craig taking him out at night, the day they had bought Stripe, where he taught him the constellations and went into great detail about his dreams to one day go out into space.

And then suddenly, three years later, everything had changed. Tweek didn't like to think bad of people, but he blamed the new girl entirely. From the moment she arrived, with her long dark hair and her infinite knowledge about space and basically everything that made Craig tick, Tweek had felt the distance between them grow. It started with simple things; Craig wouldn't wait after class for him to catch up. He stopped keeping him a place in the lunch line. He stopped coming by the coffee shop when Tweek was working. He stopped coming by his house to randomly ask him to go look at the stars. It was almost as if Craig had completely forgotten Tweek by this point. Tweek couldn't remember the last time they had held hands. Hell, he couldn't remember the last time they had spoken. Tweek clenched his fists, his eyes stinging as he held back the hurt and betrayal in his heart.

 _"I hate you."_  He whispered to Craig's shrinking silhouette. " _I hate you, because you made me love you so goddamn much."_ He sighed and tried to push the negative feelings away, knowing it did him no good to dwell on them. " _And then you just... disappeared."_ He murmured, shivering as a minor twitch ran down his spine. He chuckled, grinning dryly. Of all the things to stop his constant twitching, it was Craig breaking his heart.

Tweek sighed and made a last sweep of the School entrance, before he got to his feet and grabbed his backpack, swinging it over his shoulder as he finally made his way to the fire escape he used to clamber up to the roof a little over an hour ago. He couldn't stand to sit through any classes he shared with Craig anymore. He blindly moved through the School, now empty save for the stragglers and those kids who just couldn't get enough of School during School hours and so signed up to the after hours clubs. Tweek noticed none of them, his head low and his eyes turned down to the pavement as he trudged his way to his shift at his parents coffee shop, hoping that one day, the pain of losing Craig might not eat away at him so constantly.

As Tweek shuffled his way through the streets of South Park town, he couldn't stop his thoughts from turning to the dark haired boy he wished were currently holding his hand, talking about such nonsensical and simple things like the constellations he hoped to see that night, or his dreams about being an astronaut. Or, as was more realistic when walking with Craig, the comfortable silence of someone who didn't feel the need to fill every second with needless words.

Tweek wasn't the biggest talker, preferring to let others talk over him rather than speak up himself. Craig was of the mind that if something absolutely had to be said, then he would say it, but with as few words as he could possibly get away with using. Tweek giggled to himself, remembering one of those times that Cartman's weird bunch of friends had tried to talk Craig into a second 'adventure' with them. The noiret had quite literally, shut the door in their faces. Tweek had laughed hard enough to fall off the couch, holding his sides as he tried in vain to contain himself. Craig had even offered him one of his rare smiles as he watched Tweek struggle to regain control, and it was one of Tweek's more cherished memories.

Of course, he wasn't biased; Craig could still be as scary as hell when he was pissed off. The boy had a reputation for being a fighter, and though Tweek had only fought him once himself, something which had only strengthened their original friendship, he had certainly seen the other boy in many a fight since. It wasn't as if Craig went out of his way to fight, it was just that if someone happened to piss him off enough to warrant an actual emotional reaction in him, then the boy would decide that merely flipping them off wasn't going to cut it, and his fists would do the talking for him. Tweek hadn't noticed right away, but he did eventually realize that most of the boys Craig fought now, were the ones who started picking on Tweek himself. It made the blond feel a rush of gratitude, to know he had a friend who would stick up for him; but, that friend was lost now in a sea of black hair and a billowing skirt. He wasn't sure if Craig didn't know that kids were starting to pick on him again, or if he just didn't care anymore.

Tweek jumped as he realized he had made it to his parents coffee shop already, never once having looked where he was going, his feet had led him down the familiar path whilst his mind had walked through his own memories. Sighing heavily, he shifted his backpack and stood straighter, wincing at the loud jingle of a bell as he pushed through the door to Tweak Bros Coffee, with what felt like a stone weighing down his stomach.

"Hey there Tweek, looks like you're outta coffee there son." Tweek rolled his eyes at his fathers overly cheery greeting, the first twitch of the entire walk here escaping as his irritation spiked.

"I'm fine, I had some just before I left school." He lied, ignoring his fathers offered cup as he pushed past towards the stock room.

"Well now hold on just a minute there, son." Tweek tried to duck around the counter quickly, hoping to avoid whatever it was his father had to say, but the weight of a large hand on his shoulder prevented his escape. "I just, I wanted to tell you how very proud of you I am."

"It's fine, you told me." Tweek muttered, refusing to look back at his father. "I know."

"No, no son, I want you to have this money." His father insisted, shoving a crisp note into Tweek's free hand as he leaned over his son. "I'm just, I'm so proud of you, being gay and all."

"I know! You told me okay!" Tweek burst as he spun around to glare at his father ferociously, his heart hurting even as his eyes stung with the pent up pain and frustration he had been carrying around ever since Craig had disappeared from his life. "You have a gay son, you're so proud!  _I know!_ "

Tweek drew a deep breath suddenly, a blue hat striding quickly into view outside the shop. A moment later, a dark head hurried along behind it, as if trying to catch up. His heart stopped, his eyes glued to the two as the dark head managed to make the blue hat pause. He stared for a whole heartbeat, before he realized that if he stayed where he was, then he would have to  _see_  them,  _speak_ to them,  _together_. He couldn't handle that,  _it was too much pressure._  He needed to leave, now. "I'm sorry dad! I'll, I'll be out the back!" He broke free of his fathers hold and dashed through the door to the stock room just as the main door jingled, his breath coming in rapid gasps as the onset of a panic attack began to nibble at his mind.

 _I can't stay here!_  Tweek thought desperately, his eyes darting around the room as if his ever present twitching had returned full power. He jumped at the sound of his fathers voice through the door, his jolly and carefree tone of voice sounding way too happy for Tweek's liking. He knew that any minute, he would ask Craig if he wanted to come back here, and he couldn't stand to wait and hear the boys flat voiced response.

Biting his lip, he quickly locked the door and dropped his backpack on the hook behind it, before he then hurried over to the far side of the room. His fingers fumbled as he tried to prize open the latch to lower the ladder. " _Nnng! Gah!_ " Tweek cried, his nerves jumping erratically as he glanced back at the door. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself enough to pull out the latch, but at the sound of footsteps approaching the door, his heart almost broke from his chest, and he simply slammed the thing as hard as he could with the palm of his hand. The ladder crashed down before him, and Tweek barely contained his scream of fright. The door handle rattled, and Tweek jumped, spinning round to face the door in terror.

"Hmm, that's strange. Let me just get my keys." Tweek's fathers distinctly daydream-like voice carried through the door, and Tweek could just make out the footsteps that led away from the door.

" _Ack!_ " Tweek gasped, tugging at his hair briefly before he realized that he was wasting time. He spun quickly and grabbed the first rung he saw, hurriedly pulling himself up the ladder as fast as he could. His breaths came rapidly, his heart racing as he quickly raced up the ladder, and fumbled briefly with the hatch.

"Here we are then." His fathers voice called through the door, and Tweek thought his head might explode from all the pressure building in it. He hastily drew back the bolt that secured the hatch, before pushing up and tugging himself through the hatch. He spun around and slammed the hatch shut, neither caring if it was heard nor thinking past anything but his own need to escape. He ran across the roof, to the fire escape ladder on the opposite side of the building. He took a deep breath, struck for a moment by the amusement that this was the second time he was climbing down a fire escape so far today.

Tweek heard a faint pounding from behind him and he twitched hard enough he almost fell off the roof. " _Gah!_ " He squawked, before hurrying onto the ladder and speeding his way down it. It was almost funny that mere months ago the action would have terrified him, but now the only fear he felt was of seeing the blue hatted boy he had come to care for so much, and his new girlfriend.

As soon as Tweek's feet hit the ground, he was running. He could feel the pressure in his head, in his heart, in his lungs, all clamoring to try and paralyze him with fear. But Tweek didn't let himself stop, Tweek ran. He forced his legs to move, to keep moving, even when he couldn't focus on the direction he was running. He couldn't allow himself to stop, because if he stopped, then the pressure would make his head explode. He ran so fast, he couldn't tell if the sound of a flat voice laced with hurt calling after him was real, or just a wishful figment of his imagination.

Tweek couldn't stop, he couldn't turn back. He ran until Tweak Bros Coffee shop was long behind him. He ran until his house was far behind him. He ran, until South Park town was far behind him, and he found himself alone by Stark Pond. Only then did he finally stumble to a halt, bending over with his hands on his knees as he panted for breath. He forced himself upright, glancing around as if to make sure he really was alone. With breaths that still stuttered and rasped, he sat on the nearest bench, his blood racing, his legs shaking, his head pounding. But most of all, as he tipped his head back and looked up at the darkening sky above him with eyes that stung with un-shed tears, his heart was breaking.

He lost track of time, staring at the sky as the stars began to show against the steadily darkening background behind them. He didn't think he would be worrying his parents though, guessing that they would likely not even notice he wasn't home, so utterly in their own world as they were. He had no desire to return home, his nerves shot from the earlier close encounter at his parents coffee shop. He couldn't risk having Craig waiting there with that girl, couldn't give the other boy even the slightest chance to break up with him. For he was certain that was why the noiret boy had stopped by the shop, to hammer in that final nail to the coffin that was their fake relationship.

Tweek couldn't handle that, the finality of having lost Craig. At least at the moment he could cling to the memories he had of their time together. If he let Craig say that it was over; then he wasn't sure how he would manage to cope with the infinite loneliness again. Sure, they hadn't exactly spoken for awhile, but their relationship was a link, something that made him strong. It made him a part of Craig and Tweek, but without it, he was just; Tweek.

Sighing heavily, he pushed himself to his feet, shivering as he suddenly became aware of the cold night air around him. He hesitated only briefly, before he slowly began to make his way towards the town once more. He wasn't entirely sure of where to go yet, but the movement at least helped his stiff muscles to stop aching quite so much.

He knew that both Token and Clyde, while good friends, would immediately call Craig, so they it wasn't an option to go to either of them. He couldn't go to any of the girls, they were way too keen to insert themselves into his business and they would meddle almost as much as Token and Clyde. The very idea of going to Cartman for help with anything at all, almost had the blond laughing out loud as he trudged along. The fat boy was the cause of probably ninety percent of the problems in South Park, and rarely ever the solution. Kyle and Stan, were admittedly better options than Cartman, but the two ended up in way too many weird scenarios for Tweek's liking, they were way too stressful for him to deal with at the best of times, let alone when he was already feeling so vulnerable.

He briefly entertained the idea of going to Butters for help, but he quickly dismissed the idea, figuring it would only get the young boy grounded unnecessarily. When it came to fucked up parents in South Park, Tweek would certainly claim his were some of the worst; but the Tweak's would always come second place to the Stotch's. They grounded Butters for some of the stupidest reasons and Tweek showing up asking to spend the night would certainly be yet another they would jump upon.

" _Gah! Oh, Jesus!_ " Tweek groaned, as his list of options narrowed to a single person. He didn't think Craig would look for him over that side of town at least, and he knew he wouldn't be turned away, but it did mean having to put up with an entire evening of Kenny McCormick's innuendos and attempts to hit on him. He sighed and rubbed his arms with his hands, plodding in the general direction of the poor boys house.

He took a detour past the Church and then cut through the park, as opposed to taking the quick and straight route past the School, which would ultimately lead him past Craig's house. He sighed forlornly, wondering once more how he could have let things fall into such a complete and utter state. He looked up at the night stars, thinking about things he could have, or perhaps should have done differently. The times he ran away because the pressure was too much. The times he embarrassed himself, and no doubt Craig too, with his twitching, his random screeching and his constant fears that concerns that there was someone nearby just waiting to kill him.

Although, those things hadn't exactly stopped, but they had faded. Perhaps it was because he was drinking less coffee, perhaps it was that his parents crazy shit just didn't bother him that much in the light of losing Craig, but whatever it was had made his unique blend of crazy that much easier to handle. At least now he could anticipate when he was going to have a panic attack, and he could find somewhere to lock himself up until the worst was over. It wasn't exactly easy to go through alone, after having had Craig hold his hand through so many, but it was better than letting everyone see just how much of a freak he still was deep inside.

"Hey Tweek." A sudden voice in the darkness around him made Tweek's heart rate sky rocket, feeling as if he had just jumped clean out of his own skin from fright.

" _Gah! Oh Jesus, I'm gonna die!_ " Tweek gasped, stumbling to a halt as his eyes widened almost comically and he darted his eyes around as if expecting to be stabbed by an invisible assailant any second.

"Dude, chill out man." Came the voice again. "It's just me."

A rustling above him made Tweek look up, and he screamed as a shape appeared on a branch above him. " _Nnngh! Gah!"_ He hurried to step aside, ready to bolt the second the shape revealed themselves to be dangerous. However, as the shape swung down from the tree and landed neatly before him, he immediately noticed the orange parka and familiar cheeky grin aimed towards him. "Jesus dude! Don't do that to me! I thought you were gonna murder me!" Tweek cried, trying hard to calm his frantic breathing.

Kenny chuckled quietly, holding his hands up in apology to the older blond. "Sorry dude, but you were pretty out of it. I never meant to scare you..." Tweek raised a brow, imitating one of the more blank stares Craig was known for. His heart ached at the thought of the dark haired boy. Kenny laughed again, rolling his eyes and rubbing the back of his neck as if caught in a lie. "Okay, okay, so maybe I did mean to scare you, but only a little!" Tweek rolled his eyes as the blue eyed blond laughed, raising his arms to rub at his arms and try to warm himself. The cold night air was chafing when he wasn't moving. "So, what are ya doing in my neck of the woods anyway, Tweekers?"

"Man, don't call me that." Tweek groaned, hating the nickname that the other kids had given him in middle School. Kenny sniggered to himself, apparently quite content to cause Tweek any embarrassment he could. Tweek seriously considered just going home after all, but the thought of facing his oblivious parents and having to explain himself to them, or worse to finding Craig there, soon had the idea successfully crushed. "I was actually coming to see you." He admitted with a sigh.

"Ooh, were you gonna come and sweep me off my feet? Offer your undying devotion and..." Kenny paused, his hands drawn up to his chest like a damsel in distress. However his lips were curled into a mischievous grin, and his blue eyes held a wicked glint within them. "Let me plow that sweet ass of yours at long last?"

Tweek groaned, his hands drifting to his hair in frustration as the younger blond laughed loudly at his own teasing. "Dude," Tweek protested weakly, tugging lightly at his hair. Kenny just shrugged in good humor, waggling his eyebrows before he threw his arm around Tweek's shoulders and began to lead him back towards his home.

"Okay,  _fine,_ I'll behave. But only if you tell me why you wanna come and hide out at my shit hole of a house." Kenny said, his sharp eyes watching Tweek closely even as he kept half an eye on the pavement before them.

"Its, kinda a long story..." Tweek hedged, squirming to get free of the handsy younger blond. With a roll of his eyes, Kenny relented and removed his arm from Tweek's shoulders, knowing that too much touching was a bit of a trigger to the older boy.

"You best get started then," Kenny said slowly, as he raised a brow as he stuck his hands in his pocket. "You're lucky that it just so happens I  _love_ long stories..."


	2. Viva La Vida

Tweek fiddled with the ever mismatched buttons on his shirt, trying his hardest not to look over at the younger blond beside him, who he could just tell was frowning as he rubbed his brow in confusion. His throat felt dry from all the talking, more then he was used to sharing with anyone certainly, other than Craig of course. But even that hadn't been for some time now, and he felt lighter than he had in weeks, if not slightly dirty for having shared such intimate things with someone outside of their relationship. Then again, it was Kenny. The guy seemed to always know everything about everyone's personal lives.

"So, let me just get this straight..." Kenny said, and Tweek rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically.

"You've said that twice, and I explained twice." He huffed, folding his arms over his chest in an attempt to make himself seem slightly less vulnerable than he really felt. Kenny's continued inability to grasp the situation was beginning to tweak at his nerves, no pun intended.

"Well, they say three times is the charm, so kill me. Humor me a little here." Kenny glibly replied, dropping his hand to his lap as he looked over to the slightly older blond with his brows furrowed. "So, you and Craig haven't even spoken, in...  _weeks_?" He asked once more, as though Tweek's answer wasn't satisfactory or comprehensible the first couple times he had asked. Tweek rolled his eyes and nodded sullenly, his foot kicking at the dirty blanket on the floor by Kenny's bed.

"He stopped replying to my texts, and eventually..." Tweek sighed heavily, his heart twisting violently as he thought back to all the unanswered messages he had sent. "Eventually I just took the hint, I guess." He murmured, tightening his grip around his chest as if to try and keep his heart from breaking out. He felt a warm hand on his shoulder and jerked away from the contact, his panic spiking sharply.

"Dude!" Kenny scoffed, though he dropped his hand back to his lap. "I am  _not_ gonna jump you, quit thinking so little of me already!" The blond pouted as he leaned back on his elbows and glared at Tweek halfheartedly.

"Sorry." Tweek muttered, glancing up briefly to catch Kenny's expression morph into a cheeky grin.

"Unless of course you wanted me to-"

"No!" Tweek felt his cheeks heating up, no doubt turning a similar shade of red as Kenny's mothers hair. Kenny snickered to himself, clearly pleased to have flustered Tweek, but the elder blond merely averted his eyes and scowled at the poor boys floor. " _Gah!_  Goddamn pervert..!"

"You know, I can hear you muttering to yourself Tweek," Kenny commented lightly, eyes trailing over the other boy as he grinned. "You're not exactly subtle when you mutter."

"You're such an asshole." Tweek complained, refusing to think of it as whining.

"I'd like to be  _in_   _your-_ "

" _Jesus! Dude!_ "

"What, I can't help it if I think you have a great looking ass."

" _Au_ _gh! Oh my god!_ " Kenny laughed as Tweek almost fell off the bed from the shock of his teasing, unable to help himself. Tweek grumbled to himself, his face hot and no doubt able to fry and egg on it by this point. Tweek refused to look at the other boy until his heart rate calmed down, not because he was remotely interested in Kenny's attempts at flirting, if it could be called that. No, he kept his face averted, because he thought about Craig every time such a topic came up. He wanted his first everything to belong to the noiret; and although Kenny was only teasing, it reminded him of all the things he'd thought he had laid out ahead of him. Things which now, looked far more as if they would never happen.

"Okay, okay, okay." Kenny said, taking a deep breath to calm himself. Tweek glanced over briefly, but quickly turned his eyes to his knees instead, reaching down with one hand to pick at invisible threads and lint that may be there. "Okay! So, you and Fucker-"

"Kenny!"

"Oh  _fine!_ " Kenny groaned, rolling his eyes as if Tweek were the worst friend ever for not allowing him to insult the dark haired boy. "You and  _Tucker,_  haven't spoken in awhile, because hejust randomly stopped talking to you?" The blond asked once more, as if suddenly remembering the real reason his friend was here. "And yet, by the sounds of it he tried to come talk to you this afternoon... but, you bolted."

"I-" Tweek winced, thinking it sounded so much more reasonable when Kenny said it, but unable to deny the racing of his heart as he contemplated what might have happened had he stayed to listen to the noiret. "They were together. I couldn't handle it!  _Augh!_ They were together, and I couldn't  _breathe! Oh Jesus!_ " Tweek raised his hands to his hair as he began to ramble, tugging sharply and relishing the sweet pain of the action. It might not be as calming as Craig's fingers combing through the tangled snarls, but it released some of the pressure building up in his head at least.

"Tweek," Kenny sighed, reaching up as if to remove the slightly elder boys hands from his hair, but seeming to think better of it at the last moment. He frowned instead and ran his hands roughly through his own hair instead. "Why is it such a bad thing they were together, I mean, what is it you're actually afraid of?"

Tweek cringed, raising his legs off the floor and curling in on himself as if he could escape the conversation. He tried to ignore Kenny, to ignore the very reasonable question but the longer he remained silent, the stronger the pressure in his heart and in his head. He closed his eyes and tried to visualize his calm place, a plain meadow with gentle flowers and a soft breeze. But the breeze was too strong, blowing the petals right off the flowers and he squawked as his eyes shot open against his own volition, his hands tugging his hair almost violently. " _Everything! Oh God, oh Jesus! If I let him talk to me- Augh! Then he's gonna tell me that its over and he moved on and if- Jesus! Gah! If I don't let him then I can pretend we're still together! That he still loves me!_ "

Tweek panted heavily, his heart racing as the fog of pressure in his mind cleared almost immediately, as if his confession had erased it entirely. He tugged more gently at his hair, uncomfortable to have had such an outburst before the other blond boy. He kept his eyes on his knees, until he heard the sudden gush of loud laughter beside him. He frowned as he peeked over at Kenny, who was lying on his side and kicking his legs as if he thought Tweek's insecurities were absolutely hilarious. "Dude, not cool." Tweek muttered, glaring at the younger boy. " _Augh!"_  Kenny ignored him completely, sputtering about stupidity and hilarity both as he laughed until Tweek was seriously beginning to think he was going to die from it.

"Oh, my god. Tweek, you are absolutely precious, do you know that?" Kenny barely managed to gasp, trying hard to sit himself upright again even as he still huffed and shook with laughter. His light blue eyes locked onto Tweek, filled with the absolute amusement from Tweek's embarrassment. Tweek scowled as best he could, but Kenny was completely unfazed, if anything it seemed to make the blond laugh even harder again, so Tweek merely turned away and glared at his own toes. What could have been either minuted or even hours later, he glanced back over at the still chuckling boy, his eyes reproachful in their accusing glare.

"Oh Tweek, unless you want me to fuck you right now, you had best not look at me with those gorgeous, tempting, puppy eyes you got there." Kenny sniggered, as Tweek flushed a violent shade of red and immediately dropped his gaze to his knees with a small squeak. "Okay, look I'm sorry, okay? It's just, I don't think even if I explain, you will ever realize just how funny it is to think that Craig would ever not love you."

Tweek scoffed and turned his head away from Kenny, laying his head on his knees as he stared at the opposite wall. Kenny didn't,  _couldn't,_  understand the overwhelming sense of loss that Tweek felt. Because although Kenny couldn't see that Craig had moved on, Tweek could. Tweek had been there, sat beside him at first, then at the end of the table. Before long Tweek was at an entirely different table altogether, and finally, he didn't even bother to try and sit with them anymore. It was like he had turned invisible, and the years he had spent beside Craig had been a dream, which was now lost to him forever.

"Dude, how can you doubt it? I mean, have you seen how he's been in class lately?" Tweek flinched, not willing to admit that he had been cutting classes to avoid seeing the noiret, but it seemed Kenny had already guessed when he clicked his tongue and chuckled, though without his earlier humor. "Man, you two are just the most fucked up pair I have ever seen. Seriously, fucking Cartman is more emotionally stable than you two." Kenny sighed, as if suddenly tired from just the thought of Tweek and Craig's bruised and battered relationship.

Tweek wrapped his arms around his legs, holding himself tightly together, as if afraid he might fall apart any moment. He wasn't sure he could repress the pain anymore, it was beginning to eat away at his heart, at his mind, at his very soul. Without Craig, he wasn't sure he even wanted to keep fighting the darkness that had plagued his mind since he was so young.

"Dude, be careful." Kenny's sudden voice made him jump. Not because it was suddenly void of all the humor he had been so injected with earlier, but because it sounded so completely flat and nasal that he almost believed Craig had sneaked in whilst he was so lost in his contemplation of Kenny's wall. He raised his head to look at the other blond, but the boy wasn't where he expected him to be. Whereas Tweek had thought Kenny was still sitting beside him, the other boy was now standing over the other side of the room, with his hands tucked into his pockets, and his orange parka hood pulled low over dark blue eyes which stared across the room at him intensely.

"Kenny..?" Tweek asked hesitantly, wondering just how long he had been lost in his own thoughts, and why it was that Kenny's eyes suddenly had the power to hold his gaze hostage. He swallowed the hard lump forming in his throat, fear crawling up his spine like the monsters into the shadows from under his bed at night. Tweek frowned, the sense that he was missing something important prominent in his mind as slowly released his hold on his legs and lowered them to the floor.

As soon as his feet touched the ground, Kenny threw three large dice into the air, and Tweek's only thought aside from the panic of the gesture, was that they were surely far too big to all fit in the other boys hand at once. As they rolled on the floor, each looked to be at least the size of his own hand, and Tweek felt the unease inside him twist sharply as a large 'C' rolled into view alongside a large 'T' and what he could only assume was a very oddly shaped heart. "Kenny wha-  _Ack!_ " Tweek began, but cut off to a shrill squawk of fear when he looked back to find the other boy no longer across the room.

"Be careful." The flat and nasal, emotionless voice whispered right beside him, and Tweek jumped from the bed as his heart hammered with fear. He spun around to spit out a curse that the younger blond was most definitely  _not_ being funny, but the words caught in his throat, his anxiety spiking as his eyes settled not upon Kenny McCormick but instead upon Craig Tucker.

"C-Craig..?" Tweek stammered, his heart hammering painfully in his chest as his mind raced with thoughts of how the noiret could be here now. He briefly entertained the idea that Kenny must have called Craig over in some dumb movie-like attempt to force the two to talk, but he immediately discarded the idea, knowing that though the horny blond boy was not above inserting himself into other people's relationships, he valued the limited trust Tweek had allowed him too much to betray it so easily. "Why- How-  _Why?"_ Tweek stuttered, his thoughts voicing themselves before he could properly form the questions he needed. He stared at the other boy, whose dark blue eyes stared unblinkingly right back at Tweek.

Tweek raised his hands to his chest, trying to stem the pain spreading from his rapidly pounding heart. His mouth opened and closed but no further sound escaped them. Craig stood beside the bed, and watched, but made no move to step closer. Tweek felt his hands grow heavier, and glanced down, surprised to see a large key held tightly in his grip. He frowned, the twisted bronze seeming both familiar and entirely unknown at the same time. He loosened one hand, turning it to examine the key closer when the room began to shake.

" _Augh! Oh my God! What the hell is happening?"_ Tweek cried, his head swinging like a pendulum as he tried to look everywhere at once. " _Oh Jesus, I'm gonna die!_ " He screamed, his fist tightening around the key in his hands even as the walls began to slowly creep inwards. Tweek's eyes grew wider, his panic spiking drastically as the walls closed in around him, his fear keeping him rooted to the spot. He turned his eyes to Craig, about to yell for him to hurry and save them when the dark haired boy spoke first.

"One wrong move is all it takes to destroy everything." Craig said quietly, his voice as flat and emotionless as if the walls weren't closing in around them, ready to crush them at any moment. Tweek shook his head, not understanding the other boy, but when he looked back again, the noiret merely flashed a sad, crooked half smile, before he seemed to evaporate into a white shimmer of glitter.

" _Craig! No! Oh my fucking God!"_ Tweek screamed, launching himself to the slowly settling glitter which had been Craig just a moment before. He sank to his knees and sobbed, uncaring of the fact he was crying in someone else's house for once as his mind screeched shrill empty noise. He wobbled slightly as the ground lurched, and he yanked his head up from staring at the floor.

Tweek grabbed his hair by the fistful, yanking hard as he saw nothing but blue sky all around him. His breaths came in rapid pants, his heart rate rocketing to dangerous proportions. He swung his head from side to side, whimpering as he bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. He looked down to where the glitter of Craig had fallen, but instead of Kenny's dirty bedroom floor, he found only more of the white glitter. Twisting himself around slightly, he gasped at the large White Glitter Castle behind him, struck by both its beauty and its impossibility.

The wind blew the strong smell of the sea into his damp face, and Tweek realized the White Glitter was Salt. He got to his feet and shuffled carefully to the edge of the platform he seemed to be on, peeking over the edge to see tall pillars beneath the base of the great Castle. Salt and Sand combined into the wobbly pillars, he could tell from the way the two materials almost blended but just, not quite.

With a shuddering breath, Tweek stepped away from the edge, turning to look at the Castle behind him. He glanced down at the twisted key still in his hand, and then to the Castle gates, wondering if perhaps this was what the key was for. He took all of three steps, before the ground beneath his feet melted away to nothing, and he fell with a blood curdling scream.

Tweek could hear bells begin tolling loudly as he fell, the sound obviously heralding his imminent death. However as he thought he would surely crash into something and smash the life from his very bones, he felt a warmth beneath him and glanced down to see a bright glow which seemed to throb the closer he came. This did nothing to ease his terror nor screaming.

A horse's head seemed to leap from the glowing orb, long neck following and then a body, which promptly caught Tweek mid-fall and began to gallop full charge ahead.  _"Oh my god!"_  Tweek screamed, no less terrified on horse back then when he had been falling endlessly into nothing. He swung his head left and right, seeing other horse riders seem to form from the bright light glowing around them. They were dressed like Roman's, as if they were all charging into battle. He wasn't sure if he could hear a faint singing, or if it was just his terrified brain throwing out static screaming from inside his own mind.

He screamed again as the bright glow seemed to appear right before him again, this time revealing only a large rectangle of glass, standing in the middle of nothing and held up by nothing. Tweek's horse charged straight for the glass, and Tweek covered his eyes with his arms, bracing himself for the moment he knew was coming, when he would feel the glass shatter around him and tear into his soft flesh.

He held his breath, and he waited.

He waited.

He waited.

When nothing smashed around him, he lowered one arm enough to peek through the gap.  _"Gah!_ " He gasped, lowering his arms completely and spinning in a fast circle on the spot. His horse was nowhere to be seen, nothing around him but the softly glowing whiteness and the only thing he could see other than his own hands, was the rectangular glass he had been racing towards moments ago.

He swallowed thickly, and slowly approached, his heart thumping loudly in his chest. Tweek wasn't sure how much more madness he could take, his nerves shot to hell and back already. He flinched as he approached the large glass, seeing his own wide fear filled green eyed reflection staring back at him, twitching nervously the closer he edged. When he was close enough that his reflection stood almost toe to toe with him, he reached up a single hand as if to touch the glass and prove its realness to himself. However he jerked away when he saw a sword in his reflections raised hand, and a shield in the other still held to his chest. He frowned and opened his mouth to curse harshly, when his reflection disappeared entirely.

 _"Oh Jesus!"_ He cursed, taking a hurried step back from the now blank mirror. But almost immediately there was another image inside the glass. Tweek gasped and stepped closer once more, his hand never hesitating to press against the cool surface of the glass. "Craig!" He cried, pressing himself closer to the mirror as if he thought he might be able to press his way straight through it to the image of the boy his heart sang for. Tweek felt tears run down his cheeks once more, as he pawed uselessly at the glass, the image of an emotionless Craig staring blankly back at him. The blank Craig turned, hesitating to glance over his shoulder only once, before he began to walk away into the nothing on his own side of the mirror.

"Craig!" Tweek called, desperately trying to make the other come back. "Craig please! Craig, don't leave me! Craig!" Tweek cried, slamming his fist against the glass, which seemed to bend briefly before shattering around his hand. Without thinking, Tweek scrabbled through the broken glass, batting it aside as if it were mere water and not even stopping to watch as it floated gently away through the air.

Tweek kept his eyes on Craig, his legs moving tirelessly in an effort to catch up to the noiret. Despite this, Craig's slow amble seemed to only lead him further and further away from Tweek, until the blond could barely even see him against the glowing white emptiness around them. " _Craig!_ " Tweek cried a final time, trying to pour all the love, the pain he felt into the boys name. Craig stopped, turned and Tweek raised a hand, as if hoping the other boy would grab it. Craig mirrored the gesture, and Tweek felt his heart race, seeming to soar with hope, until he ran straight through Craig, who disappeared in a flash of white glitter once more.

 _"Augh!"_ Tweek screamed, grabbing fistfuls of his hair as he crouched down and hunched over, unable to draw breaths as his heart plummeted in his chest, shattering just as the image of Craig had around him. He slammed his eyes shut, hoping to drown out the brightness around him. When he felt a hand on his shoulder, shaking him urgently, he could only scream louder.

" _Tweek!"_ Kenny's voice had Tweek's eyes snapping open, his heart racing as he shot up from the other boys bed to a sitting position, accidentally smashing his head into the younger blond's. "Ow,  _fuck_ dude!" Kenny hissed, rubbing his head gingerly as he shot the elder boy a worried glare. Tweek sat on Kenny's bed, his breaths uneven and ragged as his heart pounded furiously against his rib-cage. "Tweek, what the fuck man?" It took longer than it should for Tweek's eyes to finally be able to focus, darting around the room hurriedly as if to assure himself of where he was.

"K-Kenny..?" Tweek asked, his voice hoarse and yet sounding so tiny. Tweek winced, hating to sound so pathetic as he repeatedly glanced around the room, his shoulders twitching and hunching unconsciously. "I-I..."

"Dude, calm the fuck down." Kenny said, trying hard to resist the urge to put his hand in Tweek's hair as he had seen Craig do many times when the elder blond was so wound up. However he knew that this would only further frustrate the boy, so he settled for sitting beside Tweek in an attempt to act normal. "Okay, when you're ready, tell me just what the fuck that was just now. I mean, I'm sorry and all; I know you're not supposed to try and wake people from nightmares and shit but, dude... That was, fuck man, it was getting fucking scary, okay?"

Tweek can't stop the heat flooding his cheeks, his embarrassment overwhelming the remaining fear in his body. This is why he always hated sleeping, his mind never failed to conjure up the worst fears of Tweek's mind and heart combined, mixing them into a kind of terrifying nightmare that he can never differentiate between real and not real.

"I-I..." Tweek stuttered, his voice rough from the emotional trauma in his dream. He shook his head and closed his eyes, rubbing his brow with a shaking hand as he tried to focus on his breathing. It was something Craig had taught him, which made his stomach clench tightly, but he forced himself to go through. He took a deep breath in, and let a shaky deep breath out. Repeating the gesture several times, he was surprised the younger blond didn't interrupt him at all. He cracked an eye open, and saw the other boy watching him closely, worrying his lower lip between his teeth as he waited patiently for Tweek to calm down enough to talk in full sentences.

"I'm sorry..." Tweek sighed eventually, his shoulders drooping suddenly as if a great weight had sunk onto them. "I don't like to sleep much as it is, even less when I'm not alone. I never meant to freak you out." He turned his face away from the other blond, running a hand up into his hair and tugging gently.

"Dude, its fine. You need to sleep some time, but I mean, I got worried when I heard you screaming." Kenny readily explained.

" _Oh Jesus!_  I'm so sorry man! Did I wake anyone?!" Tweek immediately squawked, to which Kenny rolled his eyes.

"No man, first off I thought you were just like, horny." Tweek felt his cheeks heat up once more, and buried his face in his knees. "I was actually coming to offer my services to help you out, being the awesome friend I am and all." Kenny added, and Tweek couldn't stop the snort of amusement that escaped him, his mortification easing slightly. Kenny seemed to have a way to diffuse most situations with his well timed insinuations.

"I'm sorry." Tweek sighed, removing his face from his knees at long last. He turned and rested his head on his knees, facing the other blond. His cheeks still felt warm, no doubt still pink from embarrassment, but his body merely felt tired now, exhausted from the vivid and emotion driven dream. "I had a nightmare, and... It was pretty, uh... realistic." Kenny rolled his eyes at the vague explanation.

"It wouldn't have involved a certain dark haired, blue eyed boy you happen to be head over heels in love with, by any chance?" He guessed.

Tweek would have blushed if he weren't already, instead he merely offered a sad and tired smile. "Yeah, Craig was kinda prominent." He confessed. He frowned and thought back over the dream. "I have no idea what anything else was about though dude, it was fucked up." Kenny snorted, and Tweek managed a small grin for his efforts.

"Yeah, I guessed that much Tweekers." He chuckled, before turning serious once more. "Have you considered that your crazy little mind is trying to tell you something?" He asked, his eyes glued to Tweek as the elder processed the idea. It was true that his head didn't exactly work the same way as other people's, so a dream where his brain was trying to tell him something would naturally be as fucked up as the rest of him.

"Maybe..?" Tweek hedged uncertainly, making the answer sound more like a question. Kenny rolled his eyes.

"Well, maybe that adorable little fucked up nugget of yours was trying to give you some of the answers you so badly need. Maybe, it was trying to tell you to sort this mess out."

"Kenny, I-"

"Look, I'm not one to stick my nose into other people's business..." Tweek raised his head from his knees, his eyebrow quirked in disbelief. "Okay, so maybe I am." Kenny admitted with a chuckle, to which Tweek nodded and settled his head back onto his knees, watching the other boy continue. "But look, I think you just need to think about things a bit. Your dream must have been trying to tell you to talk to Craig." Kenny said, sounding entirely sure of himself.

Tweek averted his eyes, thinking about his dream. He remembered the sensation of falling, the look of absolute apathy as the mirror Craig turned and walked away from him, the blankness of his stare just before Tweek ran straight through him and he disappeared. His heart hurt again, thumping painfully if not loudly, and he rubbed at it absently while he continued to contemplate his situation.

He remembered the twisting key, its dark metal looking almost sickly compared to the white Castle. He hesitated, his brows furrowing. Perhaps his dream was telling him he had had the key all along, that deep down he secretly knew exactly what it was he needed to do in order to fix everything. He was fairly sure there was only one place which could glow so softly and powerfully that none of his monsters had dared enter his dream. The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. The perfect way to fix everything.

"I held the key..." He murmured, and upon noticing Kenny's quirked brow Tweek smiled for the first time. He wasn't sure why that made Kenny's expression darken, why the other boy suddenly seemed much more intense as he stared at him, but his heart felt lighter, his pain numbed as he thought about the key and its meaning. "I held the key all along, to fix everything." He said, loud enough for the other boy to hear him this time. Kenny's eyes narrowed at him, but Tweek didn't notice. He had finally figured it all out, and he knew exactly what he needed to do. Tomorrow, everything would be fixed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cough cough* Uhm... sorry, about the crazy. I actually have a major thing for Handsome Jack (from the Borderlands games) and there's this music video on youtube to Viva la Vida about him (called Handsome Jack: Ruled the world - I think...) anyway, I played it earlier and then Tweek got into it and was like; yeah bitch! This is what I'm gonna do here! And... he did.
> 
> So, sorry, about... THAT. I'm not sure how it turned out at all, but I hope its not too hard to follow... Please, please comment and let me know what you thought! And, if this was just too crazy, I will try to re-work something... Thankyou so much for reading!
> 
> x My love to you all x


	3. All I Ever Knew

Tweek was able to slip out of Kenny's early in the morning, the younger blond finally succumbing to his own tiredness a short while before dawn. Tweek appreciated Kenny's help, and his attempts to make sure he was ok. He had assured the other boy that he was fine now, that everything would get worked out. He only felt slightly bad for slipping away while his friend slept, but he had things he needed to get, like his abandoned backpack from his parents coffee shop for one. As he ambled through the quiet streets of South Park, taking the back alleys that he would normally avoid for fear of monsters hidden in the shadows and lurking around the corners.

His mind is curiously blank, blissfully silent for once aside from the consistent if somewhat faint, static hum. Tweek liked this development. He was finally able to walk down a strip of pavement that he hadn't been able to for his entire life, finally able to get past the darkness without its talons reaching for him. He looked around with wide eyes, seeing the monsters cower in the shadows, and he felt powerful for the first time in his life. Finally, he had found a way to beat them; he had made a decision.

His journey to Tweak Bros. Coffee shop was remarkably uneventful and quick, and he paused only briefly to admire the rising sun before he headed in through the front door. The gentle jangle of the bell didn't even register to him, so intent as he was upon finding his things and packing for the day. His father was calmly setting up the many machines with different brews, ever the early riser to be ready for the morning rush which rarely, if ever, came. The Tweak patriarch had the radio on, a simplistic melody which Tweek found oddly soothing. He wandered through the store, careful not to garner his fathers attention lest he remember that his son had disappeared during his shift the day before.

Tweek eased himself around the stockroom door, grabbing his backback from the hook before leaning back into the main shop and allowing the door to drift closed of its own accord. He set his bag upon an empty table, near the radio and quickly rifled through, double checking he had everything he needed for the day. He would have to make do with wearing the same clothes, but he didn't think that would be a problem. It was only one day, after all.

As he closed his bag, the song on his fathers radio once more caught his attention, the words seeming to resonate within him even as the static blankness in his mind swelled. He felt like he was floating, the song all around him as he smiled and relaxed for the first time since he had last been with Craig. He began to hum, the tune easy to pick up and doubly so as addictive. When it had finished, he bid a brief goodbye to his father and hurried out the door, heading towards the School. He figured that if he took his time and just enjoyed the walk, he would arrive somewhere around the right time. He hummed as he walked, the song from the radio embedded into the static in his mind. It played on repeat, and it soothed him. He smiled the entire journey, sweeping his arms widely as he sidestepped and half danced all the way to School.

When he arrived, he saw he was one of the first, though there were others already milling just outside the entrance, chatting to their friends or playing on their phones, unwilling to enter until they absolutely had to. Tweek giggled, and swept straight past them all, striding down the familiar corridors with a very  _un_ familiar bounce in his step. His first stop was the art rooms, humming the entire time as he grabbed a carrier bag and swept an armload of paints into it with a single swipe along the shelf. He grinned, and slung the bag over his shoulder, twitching just once before walking confidently through the door and heading to the nearest stairwell.

He trotted up the stairs, occasionally dipping back by a step to keep to the tune he constantly hummed. The static in his head kept the world blissfully blank around him, made everything feel faded and soft. He drifted through the upper corridor, which was as he had expected, completely clear of students. It makes it easier for him to continue his relaxed half dance movements. He's passing the window when he sees it, the flash of yellow on a blue hat.

Tweek suddenly couldn't make his feet move for anything. He stared at the sight of the boy he loved, the visions from his dream flashing in his mind, making him wince and whimper as he bit his lip. He stared at the noiret, ignoring the dark haired girl by his side, his eyes locked onto the only thing he had ever truly cherished in his life.

 _"Looking from a window above..."_ Tweek whispered, his heart twitching in his chest like his body refused to. He leaned onto the small window sill, watching the dark haired boy stand rigidly on the path to the School, as if he planned to block the way at any moment. Tweek sighed, the faintest twinge of pain breaking through the static in his mind. " _It's like a story of love..."_ Tweek huffed a dry, un-amused chuckle, dropping his eyes to the floor briefly. The irony of the words hit him hard, as he rubbed absently at his chest. " _Can you hear me?"_  He murmured, raising his eyes once more to drink in all the details he could about Craig. He almost wished the other boy really could hear him, watching as the boy seemed to lean forward and check both ways down the street every few seconds.

" _Came back only yesterday, I'm moving further away... Want you near me."_ The words seemed to resonate throughout his whole body, the pain hitting him sharply enough to steal his breath for a moment. He let his eyes drift shut a moment, worrying his lip loosely between his teeth before he forced them open again. He didn't want to waste this opportunity to absorb as much of Craig as he could, even from such a distance.

 _"All I needed was the love you gave..."_  Tweek whimpered, ignoring the sting in his eyes and the warmth on his cheek, refusing to acknowledge his tears at all. " _All I needed for another day..."_ He murmured, clenching his hand into a tight fist upon the small sill. " _And all I ever knew,"_ Tweek continued softly, his eyes locked onto Craig as the other boy ran his hand through his dark hair, dislodging his hat and seemingly not noticing at all. " _Only you."_

" _Sometimes when I think of your name, when its only a game, and I need you..."_ Tweek sniffed, forcing his lips into a small, sad grin. He thought of the way Craig used to run his fingers through his own wild hair, the sense of calm it would install inside him. He closed his eyes and almost felt those phantom fingers again. " _Listen to the words that you say, it's getting harder to stay, when I see you."_

Tweek heard his voice break, and he took a deep breath, refusing to stop what had felt so right just a short time ago. He conjured up more memories of Craig, smothering himself in the warmth of his love, fake as it may have been. " _All I needed was the love you gave,"_ Tweek forced the words through his lips, ignoring the tremble in his voice as he gripped the window sill tightly. " _All I needed for another day..."_ He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling for a moment, curling his lips into a smile as he thought of the stars that Craig loved so much, and of the time he had shown him all of his favorite constellations. " _And all I ever knew..."_ He slowly lowered his eyes, ignoring the terrible dampness on his cheeks in favor of finding the boy he loved once more. Craig was still stood in exactly the same place, but he wasn't moving to check the paths anymore. He was staring straight at the School. Straight at the second floor. Tweek's heart stopped, his green eyes connecting for the first time in weeks with the dark blue orbs he felt were so deep and penetrating that they saw right into his very soul. " _Only you._ " Tweek whispered, and the spell between them was broken.

Craig began moving again, quickly shoving students out of his way as he made toward the School like his life depended on it. His eyes remained entirely locked upon the second floor window. Tweek almost smiled, the static overtaking him again, wrapping him in blessed numbness just as the pain in his heart almost crippled him. He let out a sigh of relief, and turned away from the window, heading for the door at the end of the hall with sweeping arm gestures and quick, light steps.

" _This is going to take a long time,"_ Tweek sang, his voice all but a murmur as he twirled quickly and continued to dance towards the fire escape door to the roof. " _And I wonder what's mine,"_  He pushed against the door, slipping through quickly and leaning against the cold metal as he glanced briefly around the small room, before his empty gaze landed on the short ladder before him through blurry eyes. " _Can't take no more."_ He whispered to the emptiness around him, a twinge of pain in his chest which he hastily pushed aside. He stepped away from the door and grabbed a chair from the stack at the back of the small storage room. He dragged it to the door, and wedged the back of it under the handle, blocking the way so that nobody could follow him.

" _Wonder if you'll understand..."_  Tweek muttered, resting his palm briefly against the metal door, imagining Craig's hand on the other side, like they used to do on windows back when they were still so young, so new to the whole relationship thing.  _"It's just the touch of your hand..."_ He could faintly hear the sounds of shoes scuffing on the School floor, that way they always seem to only in Schools. He dropped his hand and turned to away, walking slowly towards the ladder and climbing it without hesitation. " _Behind a closed door."_

Tweek grunted as he pushed open the hatch, climbing out onto the roof he had become so familiar with over the past weeks. He looked around fondly, his own small touches left on walls and the ground alike. Drawing's of himself and Craig, poems he had written the boy that he had never been able to articulate, until he had already lost him. He took a deep breath and looked out across Stark's Pond.

" _All I needed was the love you gave..."_  Tweek sang, his heart heavy and light all at once. His stomach seemed to be nothing but an empty hole, his heart weighed more than concrete. Yet despite this, he forced the words past his lips, like they were a balm on to his tender nerves. The static in his mind grew louder.  _"All I needed for another day..."_  He walked over to the railing that surrounded the whole roof, protecting stupid students from potentially falling. He glanced down, thinking vaguely that everyone below him seemed rather like tiny ants, scurrying about their lives with no idea of the universe around them. Tweek had often felt very similar; like he was just too tiny to be worthy of notice. He had been right too, so it seemed. He smiled, sniffling as he wiped his damp cheeks at last. His eyes continued to leak however, and so the gesture was almost instantly rendered useless. He dropped his backpack to the ground, and lowered his carrier bag of paints as he crouched down, reaching in to rummage until he discovered the colour he wanted.

Tweek pushed to his feet, gently shaking the bottle of paint as he leaned over the railing so he could see down the side of the School. He stared down at the students a moment, before drawing back over the railing and turning away. He uncapped the bottle, and took a final look at everything that he had created in this space he had made his own. Craig's dark eyes stared back at him from a painting he had made on a wall, and he walked closer, running his hands over the realistic artwork. They seemed to glow with the gentleness of Craig's softer side, the side he didn't let other people see. Tweek smiled, and sniffed loudly as he dropped his hand and took a step back.

" _A-and a-all I-I ev-ever knew-w..."_  Tweek stammered brokenly, as he raised the bottle of paint and squeezed. " _O-onl-ly y-you._ " Thin yellow strands flew from the bottle, instantly smearing the image of Craig's deep eyes. He didn't dare pause to look at what he had done, moving around the space he had made his own quickly, dousing the entire place with paint as he went. Every so often, he would have to replace the bottle with a fresh one, and start all over, tossing the empty bottle aside carelessly in his haste to keep going.

When he finally stopped, there wasn't a dry surface in a three foot radius around him. The final bottle of paint slipped from his grasp without his knowledge of it, his eyes travelling sadly over the artworks now dripping with yellow paint. He took a shaky deep breath and held it, as he closed his eyes and wiped roughly at his cheeks. When he opened them again, his eyes were as empty as the painting of Craig's which he had smeared.

" _All I needed was the love you gave..."_ Tweek muttered, the throb of pain from his aching heart almost immediately consumed by the growing static in his mind. He could vaguely hear a faint banging noise, and he turned towards the railing at the front of the School with a frown, looking out at the peaceful water of Stark's Pond. " _All I needed for another day..."_  He tilted his head, stepping slowly closer to the railing, his eyes locked on the lake that was called a pond in the distance. He reached forward, taking a firm hold of the rails and twisting to sit on them. He kept a tight hold of them, while swinging his legs over to dangle over the front of the School.

 _"And all I ever knew..."_ Tweek looked out at the water, sparkling like the stars in the night sky, and smiled wearily. He blinked heavily, the static in his head building until it was all that he could hear, like the tiny slapping of waves upon a shore.  _"Only you."_ He breathed.

He let go of the railing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh, I'm sorry this is shorter than the last couple chapters; I wasn't entirely sure where it was going but it flowed out like a river and I couldn't stop it and then I was just like; OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT?! And I asked advice, and the advice was to post it... so I am. I think there will be one more chapter... possibly. Depends what you make of this one I guess. 
> 
> Please, PLEASE I BEG YOU, please let me know what you think of this chapter because I'm literally a total mess right now from this...! Thankyou so much to everyone who is reading/following - who has left comments and kudos so far and please (as I just begged) please continue to do so! You've been absolutely amazing and inspiring!


	4. Moving Further Away

Craig sighed, tapping his pencil against the paper before him in irritation. The quick repetitive motion reminded him of Tweek's twitches, which only made him even  _more_ irritated with the entire situation he found himself in, and ultimately resulted in his incessantly tapping all the more. He stared out the window, a row ahead of his seat, unable to see anything but a few wisps of cloud as they lazily drifted by. He couldn't say he took any particular pleasure from watching them, but they did at least give him something else to focus on besides the churning in his gut and the weird emptiness in his chest.

He fought the urge to glance across to the seat beside him, and lost fantastically, sighing heavily in defeat as he glared accusingly at the empty desk and chair. He had been concerned the first few times the chair had remained empty, but at this point the only thing he could feel about the empty seat was pissed. He felt irritation curl through his head, his brow ticking slightly as he at least managed to resist the urge to sigh again. He did  _not_ want to be labeled as love sick. Privately, he thought he was something much worse.

He didn't know why Tweek had started to avoid him, his understanding of the blond apparently not so profound as he had first thought. Their relationship hadn't had the most orthodox of beginnings, true, but after the initial shock of it; he'd kind of come to like it. Sure chicks were pretty, and they made the effort to  _be_ pretty for guys. But, Tweek didn't really need to, because he was kinda cute just as he was. Craig would be lying if he said that it hadn't pissed him off to no end at first. But the more time he spent with the twitchy guy, the more he came to realize that his nervous tendencies weren't annoying in the slightest, if anything; they were kinda endearing. Besides, girls took effort and hard work to make and keep happy. Tweek just took Coffee and holding hands.

Before he realized it, he was actually interested in hearing about the latest crazy theory that Tweek had conjured up. He wanted to go for Coffee with him, which was a big deal, considering he despised the blandness of Coffee with a passion. He couldn't have stopped it if he tried. His fascination with the blond turned to admiration, which in turn became genuine affection. The lesson had soon been learnt, that to insult Tweek Tweak, was to request that Craig Tucker's fist make very intimate acquaintance with your face in the very immediate future. Craig sighed as he found himself thinking about the blond once again, immediately irritated that the gesture managed to slip out without his permission.

"Craig, goddammit! This is not a class on sighing, you little fucker, now get on with your assignment!" Craig rolled his eyes and flipped off his teacher without any care for the detention it would surely earn him. "Did you just flip me off?!" The teacher demanded haughtily. Craig finally glanced over to the teacher, calmly watching them fume at him with their arms crossed over their chest.

"No." He said flatly. It was a standard answer by this point, something he couldn't stop even if he had the desire to do so. He turned his eyes back to the window, ignoring the lecture that the teacher aimed his way in favor of picking out shapes in the clouds. A Coffee cup. A Coffee bean. A halo. Craig scowled at the wisps of fluffy whiteness, flipping them off for good measure as even they were apparently determined to remind him of Tweek.

"Craig Tucker! I am talking to you!" The teacher screeched, only to be cut off by the School bell, signalling the end of the day at last. Craig rolled his eyes as he got up and swept his things straight off the edge of the table and into his bag. He immediately grabbed the strap and slung it over his shoulder, before he flipped the teacher off a final time, and headed out into the corridor; the teacher's outraged stuttering lost in the hustle and bustle of countless student bodies.

Craig locked his eyes onto Tweek's locker, and was sadly un-surprised to find that the blond was nowhere to be seen. He scowled at the locker as if it had personally offended him, and slipped a piece of paper from his bag and grabbed his pencil, pressing them against the locker as he scribbled a hasty; ' _call me asshole_ '. He stuffed his pencil back into his bag and swung it around to his back, while he entered the combination easily; forcing himself not to remember all the times Tweek had tried and failed to open it himself. He shoved the note roughly into the blond's locker, ignoring the stack of similar notes he had left over the past few weeks as he slammed it shut, taking a perverse satisfaction in the way it clanged.

"Pining again?" Craig turned to meet the amused gaze of a girl who had long dark hair and equally dark blue eyes. She grinned when he flipped her off, returning the gesture happily.

"Fuck off, Chris." Craig warned flatly, lowering his overused middle finger and pushing past her to head home. Chris laughed and fell into step beside him, easily keeping pace with the noiret as he stomped sullenly through the crowds.

"You know you could always try texting, or even calling him again..?" The girl offered, ignoring the way Craig's face twisted miserably.

"He won't respond to anything I send him, and he never picks up my calls anymore; as you well know." Craig said bitterly. "You've been there whenever I've tried to get Tweek to talk to me, he just... It's like he just disappeared and now, even if I go by his house; he's just never there." He fumed, kicking stones from the pavement as they walked away from the School, down the street towards Craig's house. "I thought we were ok, hell, I thought Tweek was as happy as I was; I don't get what changed or why he's suddenly so hell bent on avoiding me." He muttered, uncomfortable about giving voice to the mess of feelings churning inside him to somebody who wasn't Tweek. The blond was pretty much the only person he felt comfortable around enough to fully open with, or he would be if he could actually  _find_ the blond.

"Maybe he just doesn't like you anymore." Chris suggested lightly and Craig immediately flipped her off with a growl. It wasn't that he even thought she meant it, but the fear he felt just from the words alone were like being carved open with a knife.

"Fuck off, Tweek wouldn't do that." Craig spat, his heart slamming against his chest as the spike of fear grew. He tried hard to calm himself down, telling himself that Tweek couldn't possibly have stopped feeling that same joy that Craig felt whenever they were close, or holding hands. He felt his eyes sting and frowned at the pavement, his irritation giving way to weariness. "Tweek wouldn't be able to handle the pressure of it, he'd have just blurted it out if that were true." Craig sighed, telling himself that he was certain of this. However his heart still felt heavy, and he rubbed absently at his chest.

"Well, I'm just saying; he's going out of his way to avoid you now." Chris said lightly, her hand on Craig's shoulder as if she was trying to soften some great blow. She forced Craig to stop walking, and he realized they were already outside his house, the journey nothing but a blur of thoughts about blond halo's and soft twitches. "Maybe you should admit to yourself this fight isn't worth all the pain its causing you..." Craig shrugged off her hand violently, glaring at her as he flipped her off with  _both_ middle fingers. Chris just smiled sadly at him and shrugged as if she expected this. "I just don't see what you're gaining by keep tying yourself up in knots over this. It seems like this guy has made his decision, and it doesn't include you. So why are you fighting it so hard?" She asked, turning to head inside.

"Because," Craig blurted out before he could stop himself, "I love him." Chris paused, turning to stare back at him with wide eyes. Craig wasn't sure why this came as a surprise, he thought everyone knew this, it went without saying. True, Craig wasn't an expressive person, generally setting his expression to either stoic or pissed off, but it was still plain to see his feelings regarding the blond, or so he had thought. He had to remind himself once more that the girl had not been in South Park the past three years, and she couldn't understand the way his relationship with Tweek had grown into something; more.

"Huh." Chris said, apparently feeling she needed to say something. She shrugged her shoulders and opened the front door, pushing her way inside and leaving Craig on the pavement outside. He struggled to make himself follow after her, the thought of Tweek not returning his feelings anymore making him feel way more than he was comfortable with. His hands were clammy, his heart was throbbing painfully while his head constantly tried to refuse all the things Chris had just said. But, having heard the words from someone else now; it was harder to deny them then when it was just a fleeting idea when he couldn't sleep late at night.

Craig shuffled through his front door, barely noticing that he shut the door behind him with a little too much force. He frowned at the floor as he headed straight up to his room, ignoring his mothers greeting in the process. He shoved his bedroom door open, and tossed his bag carelessly into the corner before flopping face first onto his bed. He groaned, glad for the first time that Tweek hadn't been with him, lest he see how pathetically emotional he was being, or at least dramatic.

Craig buried his hands under his pillow, resting his head atop it as he contemplated the state of his relationship. He had made the assumption that he and Tweek were on the same wavelength, that the feelings growing in him had also been growing in Tweek. Now all he could do was wonder if maybe he had been wrong, if he had been pushing his own feelings onto Tweek and the blond had simply grown too uncomfortable to be around him anymore. However this theory didn't make sense, because Tweek didn't just take things quietly if they made him uncomfortable; he didn't, or couldn't hesitate to let  _everyone_ know the second something happened that he didn't like.

Craig only succeeded in giving himself a headache as he tried to fathom through the strangeness of his situation, and he sighed as he rolled onto his back, digging his phone out of his pocket in the process. He hesitated, his finger hovering over the messages icon, which only served to irritate him even more and he jammed the button with more force than was really necessary in his stubbornness to not keep acting like such a love sick fool.

As Craig scrolled through the countless un-answered messages he had sent over the past few weeks, his heart grew heavy. His eyes began to sting, but in the privacy of his own bedroom, he figured he could allow himself a little emotional freedom. He let the tears run their course, ignoring the way they made the small hairs around his ears tickle. His chest hitched with what he would never confess to as a sob before he can manage to stop himself, and he bit down on his lip hard in frustration. He threw his phone on his bedside table and scrubbed his cheeks furiously.

"Hey Craig-" Chris pauses as she walks in, her eyes going wide as she took in his state.

"Fuck off." Craig said, flipping her off. Chris hesitated a moment, before she walked in and sat down by his feet at the foot of the bed. "I think you and I have a difference of opinion about the meaning of the words 'fuck off' Chris." He sighed.

"Look, just tell me something..." Chris said, her eyes soft but curious. Craig huffed a groan, but didn't make any move to stop the girl from asking her question. "Why him?" Craig choked on a laugh, his cheeks flushing red as he stared at her.

"Really?" Craig asked incredulously, "Why the fuck not him?"

"I just mean, you two didn't choose to even get together yourselves, did you? This crazy ass town just kinda, pushed it on you." Chris continued, as if he hadn't spoken at all. "You could do so much better than him, for a  _real_ relationship, so why are you still pretending that this all means something to you?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you miss the part; you know, just before we came in? Where I said;  _I love him?_ " Craig asked spitefully. He was already irritated by this whole situation, he didn't need someone reminding him that it might have never been anything more than an expectation to Tweek.

"No, I just figured you were speaking up for the town to hear." Chris said, flipping her hair over her shoulder. Craig flipped her his middle finger in response. "Look, Craig, this Tweek guy? He's nice and all, but do you really wanna be shackled to  _him_? I mean, there are a tonne of girls who would not hesitate to jump all over you..." She said, blushing slightly as she leaned back on her palms.

"Why would they want to do that?" Craig asked curiously, his flat voice barely betraying his rising temper. "I'm gay."

"You don't know that though! You've never even been with a girl! Your whole relationship was a fake!" Chris argued. "This could be the opportunity you needed, to get out and find a nice girl to date instead!"

"I don't want to date a girl." Craig said flatly, heaving himself up from the bed and swinging his feet over to the floor. "I want Tweek."

"Why?!"

" _Because I fucking love him!"_  Craig finally roared, his patience gone. "I don't want some fucking pain in the ass girl! I want Tweek! I love Tweek! What about this is too fucking hard for you to understand it?"

"You just think you do because you haven't ever dated anyone else!" Chris replied hotly, leaning forward and folding her arms over her chest stubbornly. "You just need-"

"Shut the fuck up, Chris!" Chris's jaw dropped, and Craig almost felt bad for yelling at her, but he already felt bad enough without Tweek in his life and had no room left for his usually carefully concealed emotions to be stored. He didn't need someone telling him to move on; he  _needed_  Tweek. "You don't know me! You don't know Tweek! I'm sure it must have been a shock, me and Tweek being together, but even if-" Craig paused, refusing to admit that his throat hurt at the very thought of the words he needed to push out. "Even if Tweek has moved on, and doesn't want us to be together anymore; I still don't want a girlfriend."

Chris remained silent, pointedly averting her eyes and staring at his Space Trek poster on the opposite wall. Craig felt the irritation slowly giving way to weariness, and he sighed at the flip-flop way his emotions kept changing. It was so much easier when he was just stoic at all times. "You don't know that." She finally said, her voice small and uncertain. Craig almost rolled his eyes, but found he didn't have the energy for it. He picked up his discarded phone instead, and began to scroll through his contacts.

"I do." He said flatly. His fingers hesitated, bringing up Tweek's details slowly before hovering over the call button.

"He's just some spaz, Craig, you just feel sorry for hi-"

"You finish that fucking sentence, and I don't care if you are a fucking girl; I will kick your fucking ass." Craig warned, his eyes locked on the girl beside him. She scowled at him, but wisely chose not to finish her sentence.

"Whatever Craig," Chris sighed, getting to her feet. "Dinner will be ready soon." She said, before walking out of the room with an indignant huff. Craig scowled after her, still irritated over her comments. He sighed heavily through his nose, as he turned back to his phone, his stomach in knots at the thought of another rejected call. But if he didn't try, then he would never be able to explain to Tweek.

"What was that about dear?" Craig could hear his mother in the hallway, obviously asking Chris on her way to his room. Clearly their argument had been loud enough that she had heard them even downstairs. Craig pressed call, stubbornly ignoring the churning in his gut.

"Craig's being an asshole." Chris said, and Craig raised his middle finger to her in response, even though he knew she couldn't see it. His drew his finger to his mouth, and worried his nail as the phone began to ring. "He's all bent out of shape because of this Tweek guy." Craig hates the derision in her voice, and he's tempted to go beat the crap out of her, when her phone starts to ring, and he decides against it. She only gets calls from her dad, and Craig really doesn't want to have to listen to the asshole down the line.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" Craig's mother asked, and Craig rolled his eyes. Chris always answered her phone. Unlike a certain blonde. He sighed when the call went straight to voicemail again and he hung up without leaving a message. He checked the time, and knew Tweek wouldn't have made it to Tweak Bros Coffee yet, if he was even working, so he immediately redialed.

"C'mon dude," he mumbled, gnawing his nail again. The ringing in his ears was like his worst nightmare; a physical barrier between himself and Tweek that he just couldn't ever seem to break past. Chris's phone burst with noise again, and Craig frowned in irritation, wishing the girl would just take her calls anywhere else.

"Wrong number." Chris said, and a second later her phone finally ceased its irritating noise. Craig swore, as his call was abruptly ended, meaning Tweek knew he was calling. Craig stuck out his lower lip, though he would never confess to the fact he was pouting, and hit redial. Perhaps the blond would finally realize that if he just answered, Craig could stop calling.

"Shit." Craig frowned when Chris swore, her phone chiming once more.

"Honey, what's the matter? Is someone bothering you? Do you want me to tell them to leave you alone?" Craig's mom asked, and Craig sat up and pulled his phone slightly away from his ear as he listened closer to the two in the hallway.

"Huh, no, no it's fine," Chris said, her phone going silent once more. Craig stood from his bed, suspicion falling heavily in his gut. He kept his movements slow and quiet as he walked to the doorway, peering carefully around the frame to see where the two were talking. Chris was pinned by Craig's mom, who still stood on the top stair, frowning worriedly at the girl. Craig glanced at his phone, and pressed redial, raising it close enough to his ear to hear if it rang.

When Chris's phone once more began to chime, Craig dropped his own. His stomach seemed to disappear entirely, an odd sickly feeling taking its place. His lungs seemed to have disappeared for a moment, until he realized he had just forgotten to breath. When he finally sucked in a shaky breath, it was as if he had just sucked in an entire fireball. A rage he had never felt blossomed in his chest, and he slammed his door open.

"What the fuck did you do?" He said, his voice cracking as he came to understand that all the pain he had gone through recently; had been caused by the one person he had thought he could trust implicitly. Chris jumped, shoving her phone in her back pocket as she spun around to face him.

"What do yo-"

"Don't even fucking try it Chris. You know, I know; cut the bullshit or I'm gonna beat it out of your fucking ass!" Craig stormed from his doorway, reaching to grab the girl by her arms, only to be caught by another arm himself.

"Craig Tucker, what on earth has gotten into you?!" His mom fumed, but Craig didn't even spare her a glance, his eyes locked on Chris as she fidgeted behind his mother.

"Ask  _her!_ " Craig fumed himself, his eyes darting to the pocket he had seen Chris hastily deposit her phone. "Ask her why when I call Tweek her phone rings! Ask her why the  _three fucking calls_  I just made all rang at exactly the same time as her phone, and why the last two were cut off; by  _her!_ " Craig couldn't tell if it was his heart that was pounding so loudly, the blood in his veins, or the fury in his blood. He also couldn't tell, if it was just the fear he could feel rolling off of Chris in waves.

"Chris, honey, what is Craig talking about?" His mom asked, her other hand on Chris's wrist.

"He's crazy!" Chris shouted, glaring at Craig with almost as much fury as he felt himself. "His stupid boyfriend doesn't want him and he's just taking it out on me because I told him so!"

"Christina!" Craig's mom cried, clearly shocked by the outburst. Chris jerked her head up at the sound of her full name, her eyebrows raising on surprise. "Just why would you say such a thing to him? You can see how upset he's been about Tweek lately, why would you be so cruel?"

"More to the fucking point, why does your phone ring when I call Tweek?!" Craig roared, struggling to escape his mothers hold. He managed to wriggle free enough that he could grasp Chris's wrist, using it to yank her against him just long enough to dig her phone from her back pocket before he shoved her away and shrugged entirely out of his mothers hold.

"Craig!" Chris screamed, snatching for her phone, only to be stopped by his mother between them. "Craig, that's personal! Give it back!"

"Fuck off." Craig said flatly, furiously swiping until he found the settings app. Once he was in, he looked into the phone details, and immediately felt sick. "That's Tweek's number..." He said, exiting the menu to open the call log. Three missed calls in the past five minutes, and countless others over the past weeks; all from Craig. Craig felt bile trying to claw its way up his throat, and his hands were shaking as he opened the messages. There they were, all the messages he had mere moments ago, scrolled through on his own phone. All un-answered, not because Tweek was avoiding him, but because he had never received them. He exited his message thread, and saw right below it, another thread from what appeared to be an unknown number. Messages which asked in increasingly broken manners, with awful spelling mistakes like someone had mashed the keypad in extreme haste, just why Craig was ignoring him. Craig's eyes widened, realization dawning. "Shit." He swore, dropping Chris's phone as he leaped over the stair rail and threw open the front door.

"You have got a lot of explaining to do young lady." Craig vaguely heard his mother's low hiss to Chris, but he was past caring about anything in that house right now. He needed to get to Tweek. He set off for Tweak Bros Coffee, figuring it had always been a day Tweek worked, so he was likely to be there. Of course, lately he had been told Tweek wasn't there, but he had always had the suspicion Tweek had asked his parents to say that. Because that is exactly what Tweek would do, if he thought Craig had been avoiding him. He would hide.

Craig had never really enjoyed sport at School, he hadn't joined any teams because, in his opinion; they all sucked. He did not enjoy the burn in his throat as he ran as fast as his legs would allow, nor did he particularly enjoy the aching of his leg muscles as they strained to keep up with the vigorous pace he had established for himself. This did not stop him from wishing he could run faster. The thought of Tweek thinking the exact kind of thoughts that he himself had been thinking recently, completely tore Craig apart in ways he hadn't known was possible.

Walking to Tweak Bros Coffee from school took around twenty minutes, unless you were Tweek and had to detour twice to avoid the alleyway monsters, in which case it took closer to forty. Craig was hoping to catch Tweek just as he arrived, to catch him and explain everything all in one breath and beg the blond to understand; he hadn't known. He had let the insecurities niggle him, the thoughts of Tweek having grown apart from him torture him, and he had let Chris console him about how he didn't deserve to be treated in such a way. The anger he felt at looking back over his recent memories, allowed him to push some more speed into his legs.

He ran as fast as he could, legs aching with the unfamiliar motions. He saw Kenny McCormick coming out of an alleyway and barely had the chance to shout, "Move McCormick!" Before he was already passing the blond. He heard a vague comment thrown after him, an insult he was sure, but he didn't even spare the time or energy to flip Kenny off; though he made a mental note to do so later.

When he eventually skidded to a halt just down the road from Tweak Bros Coffee, he was out of breath and sweating heavily. He felt utterly disgusting, and though he  _really_ didn't want Tweek to see him in such a state, he also didn't want to wait another second without seeing the blond. He adjusted his hat self-consciously, smoothing his hair slightly from where it had jostled on his race over, and then jogged the rest of the way to the Coffee Shop.

"Craig!" The voice shouldn't have made him pause, but it did all the same. He felt the furious betrayal sting at his eyes and he spun around to glare accusingly at the dark haired girl who jogged hurriedly up behind him. "Craig, I-"

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Craig spat, sneering at the girl in disgust. "Don't you think you've done enough? Fuck off!" He snarled, flipping the girl off with both middle fingers before hastily barging his way into tho Coffee Shop.

"Craig, please!"

"Mr Tweak!" Craig called, ignoring the girl behind him. He walked up to the counter and placed his palms upon the top, peering up at the haphazard gaze of Tweek's father. "Mr Tweak, please, is Tweek here?" Craig asked, despising the fact that he was gushing in his haste to see the other boy. He had always managed to keep his emotions well contained in public, but it seemed his tight control had been shattered for the time being. "Please, please, I need to see him; it's urgent." Craig tried hard to calm himself down as he met the older man's calm but slightly dazed expression. His foot tapped relentlessly against the floor, the only sign of his agitation.

"Oh hello Craig, yes yes, Tweek just got here. He's out back." Mr Tweak finally seemed to recognize him, and smiled serenely as he walked around from the counter to lead Craig to the stock room. Craig's heart leaped in his chest, trying to claw its way out of his throat to get to Tweek it seemed. He followed Mr Tweak to the single door separating him from the blond boy he loved, and he wondered how best to show the boy how much this had hurt him too. To show the blond how much he trule cared for him. "Hmm, that's strange. Let me just get my keys." Mr Tweak said as he tried the door handle, only to find it locked, his voice turning faintly daydream-like in its confusion.

"Craig..." Chris whispered, her hand trying to lead him away from the door by his sleeve. Craig shrugged himself out of her grip, throwing her a glare which left her in no doubts of what should happen should she attempt to touch him again. "Craig, I'm sorry..."

"I'd say it's a little fucking late for sorry, Chris." Craig fumed, his middle finger permanently cocked in her direction.

"Craig, I didn't have a choice!" Chris pleaded, tentatively stepping closer to him. Craig scoffed and turned away from her as Mr Tweak returned with a full set of jangling keys. Craig frowned, wondering briefly why a building with only two doors needed such an excessive number of keys.

"Here we are then." Mr Tweak said calmly, gently inserting a key into the lock and turning it slowly. Craig rolled his eyes and tapped his foot against the floor, anxious, nervous and excited all at once. "Hmm, that's strange." Mr Tweak repeated, and Craig dashed into the stock room, unable to wait any longer. A loud bang drew his attention to the ceiling, and his eyes focused on the emergency exit hatch. He frowned, knowing Tweek hated heights, but unable to explain the otherwise empty stock room. He hurried to the ladder and tugged himself up tiredly, his legs still faintly pulsing from the overexertion of his hasty run to get here. As he grew close to the top, he attempted to raise the hatch, only to find it stuck from its fierce snap shut.

"Of for fuck sake..." Craig growled, shoving his shoulder up into the hatch. It did nothing the first time but make his shoulder sore, but by this point he felt he was literally out of fucks to give about it. He bit his lip and did it again, knocking the hatch slightly loose. He tried a third, a fourth and finally a fifth time; upon which he succeeded in throwing the hatch open and scrambling through. He searched the roof for any sign of Tweek and his heart sank when he came up with nothing. His eyes locked onto the fire escape ladder on the opposite side of the roof, and he ran in that direction, feeling in his gut that it was the only way Tweek could have gone. He caught sight of a wild blond mane of hair dashing down the street, away from Tweak Bros Coffee.

" _Tweek!_ " He called desperately, but he doubted the blond could hear him. He hurried to swing his leg over the fire escape, only to be pulled back before he could put his weight onto the rung.

"Craig! You'll fucking fall you idiot!" Chris cried, her hands holding him back from hurrying down the ladder as Tweek had.

"Fuck off! You haven't done enough already?" Craig snarled venomously, furious she had stopped him from catching up to the blond. He shook himself free of her hold and spun to face her. "He's fucking running away!  _From me!_  Do you have  _any_ fucking idea what you've fucking done to him?!" Craig hated that he could feel wet marks on his cheeks, the burning sting in his eyes. He turned away and slammed his fist into the nearest air vent, hammering his fists against the hard metal until his fury began to ebb enough for him to think clearer.

"Craig I'm so sorry... but if you followed him down there you'd have gotten yourself killed. It's a miracle he made it down without being hurt!" Chris said, gesturing to the ladder angrily. Craig grudgingly turned to look, and saw that she did have a point. The ladder was alright at the top, but around halfway down it had pulled away from the wall, and the bottom was entirely curled upwards.

"He probably didn't even notice..." Craig sighed, searching with his eyes to try and find some sign of Tweek anywhere nearby. "He probably jumped from halfway." Craig felt the tiredness seep into his bones, a weariness he hadn't even thought his body would be capable of. He glanced over at the noirette, watching him with watery dark blue eyes. "You happy now? This what you wanted?" He couldn't help but ask bitterly.

"Craig..." She whispered, turning her face aside to avoid his accusatory glare. "I didn't have a choice."

"You had a choice." Craig said dejectedly, and Chris glanced back at his flat tone. "You chose that asshole."

"He's not an asshole." Chris snapped, her brows furrowing into a frown. "He's our dad." She narrowed her eyes at Craig's disgusted scoff and roll of the eyes.

"He might be  _your_ dad. He's nothing to do with me, my dad is Thomas Tucker." Craig said flatly, shoving his hands into his pockets as he stared at her. "That  _asshole_ has no connection to me."

"Stop saying that! He's not an asshole! He's our dad and he misses you, he wanted me to make things right for you!" Chris cried, stomping her foot in her irritation.

"Make what right for me?" Craig retorted, brows creasing in confusion.

"This! Him!" Chris screamed, spreading her arms wide before she gestured in the direction Tweek had run. "This whole stupid thing with you and Tweek!" Craig scowled at her, but she continued despite the darkening expression on his face. "The town is fucked up on so many levels Craig! That's why he wanted to get us both out of here! But he couldn't because mom came home early, and  _you_ screamed. If it weren't for you screwing that up, none of this stupid fake relationship with Tweek would have happened!"

Craig turned away, looking towards Token's house. He barely remembered the events on the day his father had tried to leave town with both Craig and his twin sister, Christina, but it was something he was pleased about. He could barely remember the man at all, the only thing he honestly recalled was that he had black hair, and a mean temper when he drank. He only remembered that much because of his own hair, and because he could vaguely recall how his mother used to hide the two of them in the spare room and tell them not to unlock the door for anyone but her. Chris would happily sleep through the entire night, but Craig would lay awake and stare at the ceiling as he listened to his parents scream at each other.

"Maybe you're right." Craig said finally, his eyes on the horizon and his mind on Tweek and where the boy could have gone to. "But that wouldn't have stopped me from loving him." Chris looked like she was prepared to argue further, but Craig merely rolled his head to glare at her, and she shut her mouth quickly so he could continue. "I'm not gonna lie, it was kinda unexpected to be put together like that, but..." Craig bit his lip and turned back to staring at the horizon. "What does it matter? Sometimes the best relationships come from the unexpected beginnings, you know?"

"But you're not gay!" Chris almost screamed. Craig sighed and turned away from the edge of the Coffee Shop, walking until he was level with his sister, though not looking at her.

"Maybe I just hadn't realized what I was. Honestly, I never really thought about it before then. And once I was already with Tweek, I didn't need to. I was already happy. I mean, if you want me to prove that I love him then I can tell you all about the stuff I wanna do with him, to him, especially his ass... Tweek has a great ass..." Craig trailed off, lost in his thoughts for a moment. He started slightly as Chris made an odd choking noise, glancing at her briefly before he shrugged his shoulders and began walking back to the stock room ladder. "I guess if you and the asshole are just gonna have to live with the disappointment of me being homosexual; oh no, wait, better yet," Craig paused, looking back over his shoulder. "Tell the asshole I'm Tweek-Sexual."

"He'll disown you!" Chris cried, hurrying after him. Craig turned and stared at her with wide eyes. "He'll cut you off entirely..." She said, wringing her hands in front of her chest. Craig hesitated a moment, before he sighed heavily.

"Awesome." He said, the relief he felt obvious in both his voice, and the way his shoulders drooped. He laughed at the shocked confusion on his sisters face. "Why is it so hard for you to understand that I hate him? I don't want anything from him, but to be left the fuck alone."

"And what about me? Do you hate me too?" Chris asked, biting her lip.

"I didn't, before today." Craig snapped. Chris had the decency to drop her head in shame, and Craig sighed as he rolled his eyes. Girls were such effort to appease. "Look, I was thrilled when you showed up. I was, and I let this chasm grow between me and my boyfriend for you; so don't think I don't like, care about you, or something... but you chose that asshole over me. He can't handle the fact some kid he never bothered to come check on is gay? My dad, Thomas Tucker to you; he struggled too. He thought he couldn't accept it, but it only took him a day of me being miserable without Tweek, to  _try_."

Chris shuffled her feet awkwardly, unable to look up and meet Craig's eyes. Craig sighed and looked at the darkening sky. "We should get home." He muttered, turning to the ladder and swinging himself over.

"Aren't you going to go look for Tweek..?" Chris asked, seeming hesitant to bring the blond up, though Craig didn't see the point in being so shy about it all by this point.

"There's no point. If Tweek doesn't want to be found, nobody will find him." Craig sighed as he descended, trying hard to pretend his voice didn't break at least twice. "The best I can do is ask everyone to keep an eye out for him and hope someone sees him. I guess other I'll just have to get to School early and ambush him." He glanced up to see Chris peering over the edge of the ladder, her long hair falling over her shoulders. "Why do you care?"

Chris flinched, and Craig almost felt bad, until he reminded himself that Tweek was currently outside, in the soon to be dark night, where any number of his monsters could get to him. He felt his throat tighten, wishing he could be there to hold the blond's hand. He shook his head and continued down the steps, his heart plummeting with every step he took. He only hoped that he could find Tweek in the morning, and that the blond would give him a chance to explain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry! I know, it resolves nothing from the previous chapter! But, hey; backstory! Ok so this one shot went from One, to Three, to Four and now obviously a minimum of SIX chapters -_-  
> Bad, very very bad...
> 
> Anyway; I'm sorry this isn't what you were expecting - I actually, wasn't sure what to make of all this; but it is all kinda important to the whole story so... I'm sorry! It'll just be a little longer to find out Tweek's fate...


	5. Wonder If You'll Understand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN RE-WRITTEN AS SUBJECT TO MY WHIM BECAUSE I FELT IT SUCKED! IT NOW FINISHES WHERE IT ORIGINALLY SHOULD HAVE, AND THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL NOW BE THE FINAL!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is reading this, I am so sorry for posting that rubbish chapter the other day - I have re-worked it, and although the first part is mostly the same; there's still enough different to warrent giving it a brief check over - and the second half is entirely new, leading us right to the point we most need; Tweek.  
> So now, the next chapter will be what you've all been waiting for!   
> Sorry again - I hope you enjoy! x

Craig had known from the moment he saw Tweek's blond mane disappear down the street, that there was about as much chance of him sleeping that night as there was of Kenny McCormick becoming his friend. That was one blond he did  _not_ need in his life, considering the guy was literally a walking sex pest who flirted with anything that had a pulse, or so Craig imagined. The noiret did his best to avoid the McCormick clan in general, and did his best to also steer Tweek clear of them, lest they try and lure him into their web of lasciviousness. After making his way down from the roof, he began to dejectedly plod his way home from Tweak Bros Coffee, barely looking where he was going as he typed out a message for anyone and everyone he knew to send him a message if any of them saw Tweek. He cut his eyes across to the dark haired girl beside him, who walked with her arms wrapped tightly around her chest and kept her eyes on her toes.

"If I send this to all of my friends, will they actually get the messages?" He asked, taking a perverse pleasure from his sister's heavy flinch. He knew it was unnecessarily mean to goad her, but he was never the best at emotional control; which is why he generally resolved to remain stoic for the greater part of his life. Chris frowned and bit her lip as she peeked sideways at him, giving an almost imperceptible nod but no verbal response. Craig snorted at her silent treatment, and turned his eyes back to his phone, hitting the send button and sending his message to every phone number he had.

**If anyone sees Tweek running around like an idiot with no coat, let me know. Tell me how he is, and where. Do not tell him I asked, nor that I will be coming for him. Keep him there until I arrive. Please. Craig.**

It might not be the most emotional of requests, but anyone who knew him would immediately pick up on his sense of urgency from his use of the word 'please.' There were rumors in the School that Craig had grown up literally unaware of the existence of the word please, and he was torn between feeling amused at the shocked expressions he knew some people would give, and irritated that he would no doubt be bombarded with idiots laughing at him while saying please. His cheeks felt warm already just from the thought, and he kicked the pavement irritably as he walked home.

"Where do you think he went?" Chris asked, her voice small and uncertain as she attempted to strike up a conversation with him, perhaps encouraged by the scathing question he had thrown her way.

"What do you care?" Craig retorted flatly, shoving his hands into his pockets. He looked across the street, thinking despite himself about all the places Tweek could have gone. There were surprisingly few places Tweek could realistically go, his phobias easily restricting the blond. Normally he wasn't so bad if Craig was with him, grasping the noiret's hand tightly so he remained grounded rather than becoming lost in his fears. However, Tweek was terrified of heights, and he had jumped off a roof not an hour ago, so Craig's short list of Tweek's hiding places; was suddenly no longer so short.

"I just... I mean,"

"You feel guilty  _now?_ " Craig asked incredulously, swinging his gaze in his sisters direction again. "Bit redundant, isn't it? Your damage is done, why bother feeling bad now? You wouldn't if I hadn't found out would you? You'd just be sitting at home, telling me how awful Tweek is for ignoring me, how I don't love him, how I'm jut confused. You wouldn't spare a thought for him, alone in his fears and thinking all the things you tried to convince me of-"

"Jesus! What the fuck do you want, I'm not some monster, ok?! I did what Dad told me to, because I thought he knew best!" Chris fumed, cutting of Craig's droning voice. He blinked at her, clearly unimpressed by her outburst. "Did I try and split the two of you up, sure. Did I swap mine and Tweek's sim cards, sure. But don't say I wouldn't care about him at all, I mean, he's a sp-" Chris paused, glancing to her brother and his steadily darkening gaze, before she hastily looked ahead again. "But I never meant to hurt him..." Craig stopped, staring at Chris like she'd said something monumentally stupid. "What?" She asked cautiously, coming to a stop a short way ahead of him.

"I just, can't believe someone I shared a womb with can be so stupid." Craig sighed, shifting his hat as he ran his hand through his hair in agitation. Chris opened her mouth to speak, but Craig raised a hand to cut her off. "Just stop speaking, please. Here; let me explain." He gestured to himself and then to Chris. "We see things a certain way. Look here," he gestured to a tree leaning over Jimmy Valmer's garden fence. " _We_  see a tree with a purple smudge from when we were kids and painted a tavern called 'The Giggling Donkey' in Jimmy's backyard. Not you that you were here for that." He pointed to the purple mark on the tree's lower limbs, making sure his sister was following. She rolled her eyes and raised her brows in response. " _Tweek,_ would see this tree as something much more. It wouldn't be a purple smudge, the whole Tree would be purple, it would be a magic tree that controlled the universe or something equally impressive."

"Is this supposed to make me  _not_ think of him as a sp-"

"Chris I swear, you are already so far in my shit list I really don't see us ever being close again. If you even try and say it once more, I do not care that mom will shout and scream and kick my ass for it, I am going to beat  _your_  ass all the way back to that asshole that you love so much." Craig growled, his glare burning straight through his sister. "I don't care if you  _are_ a fucking girl, I literally have no shits left to give at this point." He muttered blankly, turning away from her and continuing down the street towards his home.

"The point I'm trying to get through your thick skull, is that Tweek is special. He sees magic and monsters where we only see special effects and make up." Craig threw his sister a dirty glare as they walked up the drive to his front door. "What you've done, the  _mess_ I have been from your interfering and keeping me away from him... All of that pales in comparison to what that will have done to Tweek. He won't have even considered I wasn't doing this deliberately, he genuinely thinks now that I hate He ran away, from  _me_. Because of  _you._ " Craig shook his head and kicked the front door open, no longer caring if his sister understood, just wanting to be as far away from her as possible.

"Craig, honey?" His mother called, appearing in the kitchen doorway as soon as she heard the front door slam open. "Honey, did you find Tweek?" She asked worriedly, hurrying towards him. Craig shook his head, his throat too tight for him to speak without choking. He averted his eyes and turned towards the stairs. "Oh honey, don't worry, he will probably call you later-"

"He can't." Craig said flatly, heading up to his room. " _She_ changed my number in his phone, and even if she didn't, he thinks I hate him. He won't try and contact me." Craig said. He felt his phone vibrate, but held no real hope that it would be Tweek. He made it to his room, barely hearing his mother fuss downstairs about calling other parents to find the blond and invite him over. He sighed, wishing such a gesture would help. He saw Chris reach the top of the stairs, and he frowned back at her.

"What do you want?" He asked, rolling his neck until he heard a satisfying crack. Chris seemed to hesitate a moment, before she closed the distance between them.

"Craig, I  _am_ sorry..." She began, biting her lower lip as she paused and seemed to try and think of how to phrase her next words. "But, maybe this is a good thing. I mean, you guys can have some space, some time to think-"

"I don't want space from Tweek!" Craig roared, irritated further simply by the fact that he was having to show so many emotions in a single day. "I want him  _here!_ Jesus Christ, what the fuck is wrong with you?" He fumed, eyeing the girl before him like she was a complete stranger, which he supposed she was after all.

"Nothing is wrong with me! I want what's best for my brother is all!" Chris spat back, flipping her hair over her shoulder. Craig saw Tricia's bedroom door open, but he didn't want to have to deal with both girls just now. He threw his door open, and turned to stand firmly in the way so his sister couldn't follow.

"You don't even know me." Craig said flatly, hating himself for the perverse pleasure he felt when she flinched hard at his words, as if he had struck her.

"Craig," she sighed, looking up at him imploringly. "Please, just let me explain all this properly. You don't understand..."

"What's to understand? The asshole who raised you is a homophobic piece of trash, and sent you here to stop me from embarrassing his family name." Craig drawled, his lips curling into a tiny grimace of a smile as her eyes widened in surprise. "Didn't exactly take a lot of thought, I mean, you've kept me occupied the entire time you've been here and every time I tried to go see Tweek at School or after you always begged me to show you some pointless sight you obviously cared about as little as I did, or wanted my help with something. Looking back, I can't help but hate myself even more than I hate you for not seeing it."

"Craig-"

"Look, Chris; I don't care. You and the asshole can be the lying, cheating, homophobic bastards you are, just leave me out of it. I don't want anything to do with either of you." Craig said, cutting the girl off. Her eyes watered and she shook her head violently, attempting to step closer.

"Craig, you don't mean that-"

"Don't tell my brother what he does and doesn't mean, bitch." Craig glanced towards Tricia, having not seen her lean against the wall and listen to the two of them arguing. Chris turned towards the other girl, immediately bristling at the barb. She opened her mouth to speak, but Tricia pushed herself away from the wall and immediately threw her fist into Chris's face. Craig shifted his eyes as Chris fell back, her elbows propping her up as she dabbed at her bleeding nose. Tricia flipped the girl off and stalked back to her room. "That's for fucking with Craig and his feelings, and for hurting Tweek!" She called over her shoulder, before her door slammed shut.

Craig felt a strange sensation building in his gut, churning and spiraling through his chest as he looked down at the fuming noirette. His lips parted, and a chuckle escaped him, before he began to laugh without restraint. "Oh Tricia, I can't tell you how good that was. I have been wanting to do that all afternoon!" He called, to which his sister did not reply, though he was sure she could hear him. "I guess we're more alike than we thought." He said, grinning as Tricia's door opened a crack, just enough for her to flip him off before her hand disappeared again and her door once more closed. "Best present ever."

Craig chuckled once more as he turned and pushed his door closed, savoring the moment of shock on Chris's face just as Tricia's fist connected with her nose. He wondered if it was broken, and immediately dismissed the idea, for Tricia had never punched anything before, and was unlikely to have refined the skill quite so well as Craig had.

For the second time that afternoon, Craig flopped into an undignified heap onto his bed, his face instantly buried into his pillow as if he could somehow erase the past few weeks. Half hoping he would wake from some terrible nightmare, he barely had the willpower to dig his phone out of his pocket. He finally surfaced from his pillow for air, turning his face to the side as he raised his phone and brought up his messages.

There were various replies from his friends, all swearing that should they see Tweek they would certainly let him know. Except for Cartman, who demanded a finders fee, or he 'wasn't doing shit' for Craig, because Craig was an asshole and he hated him. Craig rolled his eyes and tossed his phone onto his bedside table, turning himself over and throwing an arm over his eyes as if to block out all his problems.

"Craig..?" His mother asked, knocking tentatively.

"Fuck off." He drawled, immediately wincing at the harsh tone of his voice. He was about to apologize when his mother sighed and spoke quietly.

"There's dinner set aside for you, if you want it honey..." She said, and Craig immediately felt the sting in his eyes, wanting nothing more than to cry to his mommy about how unfair the world was being. However Craig refused to show any further emotion in one day, and he lay still, listening as his mother sighed once more and moved away from his door.

He knew he should eat, that he was being ridiculous and that he was acting like a complete  _girl_ , but his chest hurt and his gut churned. All he wanted was to find Tweek, to tell the boy what he should have told him so long ago, before his sister had even shown up. He frowned, removing his arm from his eyes as he looked up at the glowing stars stuck to his ceiling, wondering why Tweek had never once even asked him about his sister.

His mind wandered over the time they had grown distant, noticing in hindsight the uncertain looks and twitches that Tweek would give whenever Chris was around. He thought back to when Chris had arrived, beaming and his initial burst of excitement for her finally returning home. Shortly after that she had started coming to School with him, and at first things seemed ok, Tweek and Chris were certainly awkward, but by the end of the week Chris was comfortable enough to ask to borrow the blond's phone until she got a new one, and Tweek was comfortable enough to allow it.

Craig scowled at the ceiling, lost in his memories which appeared so much clearer in his mind then when they had occurred. He wondered how he could ever have not noticed that this moment was so pivotal at the time, he could only assume he was too absorbed in his own happiness at having his sister back and his boyfriend so supportive. The gaps formed that very day, and it seemed every time Craig tried to meet up with Tweek or expected to see him in the lunch area, there was always something his sister needed.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, cursing himself as an idiot for blindly trusting anyone who spent the better part of their life with an abusive, manipulative asshole as the man who Chris so lovingly called their father. The man was practically a poster child for homophobic, racist assholes. He felt a brief moment of horror, wondering if perhaps he was biologically related to Eric Cartman, who was the only real comparison he had for homophobic, racist assholes, but he vaguely remembered something about Cartman killing his father and feeding him to his half-brother some years ago.

His thoughts drifted, naturally, to Tweek. He couldn't work out where the blond could have run off too. Tweek was afraid of so many places, especially once it got dark. Craig groaned and just hoped the blond hadn't gotten himself trapped between his monsters, pinned in some alleyway or something as ridiculous. He frowned and sighed again, rolling his eyes at the apparent pathetic state of himself.

Tweek had been terrified of heights, last he knew, yet today he all but jumped off a roof to escape from Craig, although he supposed it could be he was running from his sister, but he wasn't entirely hopeful about that. He couldn't help but worry about all the things Tweek must have been going through alone, how his silence would have translated to negligence or disinterest. He could only hope that Tweek would listen to him if he managed to catch the boy before School began. Craig's phone chimed, and he grabbed for it immediately, almost knocking it to the floor in his haste.

_Hey Fucker, heard ya lost somethin_

Craig groaned, not wanting to deal with Kenny McCormick and his endless supply of innuendo and flirtation. He considered tossing his phone back on his nightstand without replying, but ultimately decided better of it, for although he was annoying as all hell, Kenny was irritatingly good at finding people when they didn't want to be found.

**Am I to assume you've something useful to tell me?**

_Well, I might have a little tidbit for ya ;)_

Craig grit his teeth and fumed, knowing that to engage Kenny was to encourage the pest, but seeing no other way to find Tweek.  **Do you know where Tweek is, or not McCormick?** He smashed the send button with a little more force than necessary, but was ultimately rewarded with a speedy reply. Craig hated having to stoop to begging Kenny McCormick of all people for help, the boy whose nose somehow managed to work its way into everyone's business. He made a mental note to complain heartily to Tweek for forcing him to such measures, once he found the blond and they were actually talking again.

_Sure I do :D_

**Then tell me asshole**

_:(_

Craig growled, frustrated with the younger blond and his never ending games. This was exactly why he hated having to deal with Kenny McCormick, because the blond couldn't tell when to stop being an idiot and when to be serious. He sighed wearily and was about to toss his phone aside, when another message to his inbox made him hesitate.

_I do not get what's going on with you guys; but Tweek's a fucking mess, dude. What the fuck did you do?_

Craig wanted to be irritated by the message, but he found that he felt only relieved and tired. Relieved, because somebody had seen Tweek, even if it had been Kenny McCormick. Tired, because ultimately, Kenny was right; it was his fault.

**My sister has been interfering in our relationship, on behalf of her beloved father, who apparently cannot handle having his son he never bothered to come check on turn out to be gay. He sent Chris to, and I quote; 'fix' me.**

_Holy shit dude :o  
But how the hell did he even find out, what; he got a South Park radar or some shit?_

Craig scoffed, refusing to laugh at anything Kenny McCormick sent him, even if it did so perfectly reflect his feelings on the matter. He frowned at the boys second message however, wondering why the question hadn't occurred to him before. He shrugged to himself, assuming it was pushed aside by his concern for Tweek. He made a mental note to ask Chris if he saw her the following morning.

**Tricia punched her.**

_:o !  
_ _But, Tricia is so sweet!_

**No she isn't McCormick, you just never see her anywhere but School. As fun as all this sharing is, what about Tweek? Where is he?**

_Dude, don't take this the wrong way; but I am so not telling you._

Craig glared at his phone, his fingers gripping the device tightly as if he wanted to crush it, and Kenny McCormick in the process. He was just about to type out a demand that Kenny tell him immediately or he was going to head right over to the poor boy's house and beat the information out of him, when Kenny sent another message.

_Look, Tweeker's is fine, or, ya know, as much as he ever is. Anyway, look, he just needs some time to chill out. He thought you and Chris were together - like together together! He was rambling some shit about you wanting to break up with him and you had moved on? Then he started on with the 'pressure!' and 'couldn't handle it' stuff..._

Craig stared at his phone, disbelieving the very words staring up at him from the screen. Tweek had thought he was only there today to break up with him. His eyes stung with the absurdity, and with the pain that Tweek must have been carrying. Craig could at least see why Tweek had preferred to face his fear of heights to escape him, rather than see him with Chris. He still frowned however, confused where the blond would have got the idea that he would be interested in his sister.

_Dude, didn't you tell him you had a twin?_

**She went to our nursery with us - we were all in the same class! I thought he knew, like everyone else in this stupid fucking town.**

_Dude, Tweek didn't go to nursery. He wasn't allowed, remember? He was already addicted to Coffee and his parents didn't think the teachers would 'comply with his needs'_

**How the fuck do you know all this?**

_Dude, how do you_  not  _know all this? He's your fucking boyfriend._

Craig felt his throat constrict dangerously, his eyes leaking burning hot tears which he refused to acknowledge. The idea that the entire situation could have been avoided, had he just spoken to Tweek about his past, was like a twisted stab wound to the gut. He'd claimed to love the blond, yet he had never thought back far enough to even remember the blond hadn't been there when his sister and himself had first started nursery. His thoughts about how they always had been and always would be together, crumbled around his ears, and Craig wasn't entirely sure he had the emotional density to figure out what he was even feeling anymore.

_Dude, look whatever happened between you two, you need to fucking fix it, I don't like seeing Tweeker's suffer like this. I'm gonna walk him to School tomorrow and make sure he doesn't skip out on ya - though I expect compensation for my good deeds ;)_

**Sure, just make sure he's there.**

_Seriously?! Dude! This is gonna be so awesome!_

**What?  
McCormick?**

Craig felt completely uneasy, but Kenny didn't reply again. He had the vague sense of dread building in his stomach, that something terrible had just happened, but he couldn't quite put his finger on what it might be. He let himself be comforted by the fact that he would see Tweek in the morning, and set an alarm on his phone so that he could get up and to the School early, so Tweek had no chance's to slip past him. Once he was finished, he set his phone on the nightstand and rolled onto his side, staring blankly at his wall and thinking of all the stupid mistakes and assumptions he had made regarding Tweek. He resolved to fix things, to explain to Tweek the truth and hope, perhaps even beg, the blond's forgiveness. He would certainly not let Tweek run again. With a heavy sigh, Craig found his eyelids drooping, his emotional turmoil adding to his exhaustion. He had just enough control left to stubbornly tell himself that this did not make Kenny McCormick his friend, before he was pulled into a dark and dreamless sleep.

It felt like only minutes later, that his phone began to chime with an irritatingly chirpy melody that made Craig want to throw it across the room. He groaned as he groggily shifted, hand fumbling on the table for the incessantly bleating phone. When he finally managed to snag it, the alarm had already finished, postponing itself for another ten minutes. He considered going back to sleep until his phone's annoyingly cheerful alarm tune woke him again, but upon glancing at the time, he decided against it. Having slept the entire night in his School clothes from the day before, he wanted nothing more than a shower.

He sighed and rolled to his side, swinging his feet to the floor in the process. He ran a hand through his hair and removed his hat, throwing both it and his phone to the bed as he stood and stumbled only once on his way to the door. He slowly crossed the landing, ignoring the barely hushed furious whispers and angry crashing of plates from downstairs, as he slipped into the bathroom and locked the door. His joints protested as he stripped his clothes and dumped them in the hamper, before stepping into the shower and turning on the taps.

"Shit!" He hissed, as the first icy jets hit his skin. Any parts of him not fully awake were jolted sharply into wakefulness, as he jerked away from the water and attempted to adjust the taps. It took several minutes, but he was eventually able to get the water to a moderately warm temperature. He scowled at the floor as the water ran over his hair and shoulders, cursing the fact that he had two sisters to steal all the hot water every morning. After his entirely unsatisfying but at least refreshing shower, he shut off the water and wrapped a towel around his waist, brushing his teeth quickly before heading back to his room. He quickly dried and brushed his hair, before he dressed himself in a similarly all blue outfit to what he usually wore, tugging his familiar chullo hat into place on his head when he was ready to leave.

"Craig?" His mother's voice drifted to him as he grabbed his bag and headed down the stairs. Her worried face appeared in the kitchen doorway, Chris and Tricia glaring at each other behind her at the dinner table. "Craig honey, I didn't want to wake you last night, but won't you have some breakfast? You didn't eat last night..."

"I'm not hungry." He said, turning to the front door and heading out into the cool morning air. He couldn't remember the last time he had walked to School alone, and he actually enjoyed the few moments of silence before Chris caught up to him.

"You could have waited for me." She huffed, stuffing a final corner of toast into her mouth.

"Why?" Craig asked flatly, not even bothering to look at her.

"Because!" She said, as if that was answer enough. Craig ignored her, and continued traipsing towards the School, feeling an unwelcome jittering in his stomach at the thought of finally seeing Tweek soon. He cut a glance to his sullen sister, who seemed to understand he didn't particularly want her there, staring down at her feet as she walked with her arms wrapped around her chest.

"So how did he actually find out?" Craig asked, as they came to the School path. He stopped walking and turned towards his sister, who was biting her lip as she frowned at her toes. Assuming she wasn't going to answer him, Craig turned his attention to checking both ways down the path, his sharp eyes scouting for the wild blond halo he was so fond of ruffling.

"Some guy he knew here, was buying some supplies for his store... a man by the name of, Skeeter..?" She said uncertainly, peeking up at him briefly. "He was buying all these barrels from dad, and he mentioned you and your 'little boyfriend' were doing really well. He was pretty upset after that guy left." She said quietly, as if she didn't want to admit there could be something wrong with the man who had raised her.

"I'm sure." Craig deadpanned, glancing down the street again before checking his phone for the time. He sighed heavily, he had never been so early to School, and it was the one time Tweek wasn't apparently. "Come on, McCormick." At Chris's confused glance, he shrugged his shoulder. "Kenny McCormick found Tweek last night, he said he would get him here so I could finally explain the shit storm that is you interfering in our relationship." He explained.

"Well that's good that he found-"

"Please don't fake some sort of relief that McCormick found Tweek," Craig sighed. He ran his hand through his hair, not even caring that he dislodged his hat in the process.

"I wasn't! I was being serious! I'm pleased he's ok!" Chris fumed, even stomping her foot in a display of irritation.

"Forgive me for doubting you, oh loving sister." Craig scoffed, snorting at his own sarcasm. Chris opened her mouth to respond, but Craig didn't hear her response, his eyes locked on the path towards his house as he saw a blond and orange blur streaking towards him. He was about to call to Kenny, when the other boy all but slammed into him.

"McCormick!" Craig wheezed, rubbing at his chest where the blond's head had collided with it. Kenny looked dazed, his eyes darting quickly down the road. "What the-"

"Tweek ran off!" Kenny huffed, his breaths coming in hasty pants, as if he had been running for some time. "He slipped out sometime after I fell asleep, I'm sorry; I tried to stay awake so he couldn't pull anything but, I was kinda busy before I even ran into him and it all caught up with me... Shit, I'm fucking sorry man." Kenny ran his hands through his messy hair, seeming eerily similar to Tweek with such a manic sense of panic in his eyes.

"Dude, it's not your fault, I know how Tweek can be when he gets like this..." Craig began, not sure why he was trying to comfort Kenny other than it was insanely unsettling to see the blond so frantic.

"No!" Kenny blurted, grabbing Craig by the wrist. "You don't understand Craig, I should never have let myself fall asleep. You haven't seen him like this, trust me. Last night he had this dream, and I don't know what happened but it freaked him right the fuck out, dude. I mean, double freaked! He was saying all kinds of weird shit after man, but it was this unnatural calm that settled over him man, he was like-" Kenny paused to suck in a deep, shuddering breath, and Craig's heart hammered in his chest, his hand twisting in Kenny's grasp so that he now had a hold of the blond's wrist. "Dude, I know how suicidal people think; and last night, dude, Tweek was way past that point of no return. He got real calm, real quick; and he said he could fix everything. I'm no shrink, but I know what that feels like man, I know those thoughts. We gotta find him,  _now._ "

Kenny stared at Craig, and the noiret could feel the very real fear that the blond was carrying with him. His stomach dropped at the mention of suicide, his blood running cold as his heart crashed painfully loud in his chest. Kenny's eyes shifted away from Craig's, darting over his shoulder and suddenly lighting up with hope and relief. Craig turned, his hand releasing Kenny as the blond raced off towards the School main entrance. Craig's eyes slid in the direction Kenny had seemed to be looking, and he almost forgot how to breath at the sight he saw.

Tweek stood at one of the upstairs windows, his hair wilder than he had seen it in a long time. His eyes seemed to be closed, his body hunched as he gripped at the window as if he might crumble at any moment. Craig couldn't remember the last time he had seen Tweek in such obvious pain. His heart ached, his eyes stinging as he beheld the obvious pain of the boy he loved. He felt the shame of not being there for Tweek, crawling up his throat like bile, until Tweek's eyes slowly peeled open, and locked with his own.

Craig could have lived in that second of recognition, of joy that he felt from the connection of Tweek's gaze with his own. Although still so far away, he found himself swimming against the tide that was Tweek's intensely deep green eyes; which sparkled brighter than the stars in his favorite constellations. Tweek seemed to mutter something, twitching slightly at the words, and suddenly Craig's feet were in motion. His eyes were locked on Tweek, his entire mind ensnared by the blond as his body shoved other students out of the way in its haste to hurry through the School. He saw Tweek turn away, just before he lost sight of the window completely, his eyes dropping to the path before him as he ran through the School.

Craig ignored any curses, shouts of surprise or threats thrown his way, as he roughly barged his way past milling students. Though hampered by students on the ground floor, he knew that as soon as he managed to shove through them, the floor above would be clear, and his path to Tweek unhindered. Kenny's words about suicide reverberated in his skull, and he pushed his legs to move faster, his arms to shove harder.

He dashed up the stairs, his shoes squeaking against the tiles as he ran. He glanced both ways at the top of the stairs, uncertain for a moment which way Tweek might have gone. He saw the fire escape door slip shut, and headed in that direction as fast as he could. He stretched out his hand, expecting the door to open easily under both his strength and his speed, and was unprepared for the door to remain firmly closed to him when he ran face first into it.

"Ow." He said flatly, flexing his stinging hand briefly before he began to bang on the door as hard as he could. "Tweek!" He called, pretending not to notice the way his voice cracked with emotion. He could hear nothing from behind the door, his heart racing far too loudly in his own ears. He panted for breath, staring in dismay and frustration at the door which separated him from Tweek. His hand clenched slowly into a fist, his teeth clenching painfully as his fury at the entire situation exploded within him.

With a furious growl, he threw his shoulder against the door, repeating the gesture as many times as he could. He barely felt the jarring pain of slamming his shoulder repeatedly into the hard surface, his mind flooded with too many thoughts and feelings, all revolving around Tweek. He refused to let this be the end for them, refused to let some  _misunderstanding_  ruin what they had. He also refused to accept that it might ruin more than that, if Kenny had been right about Tweek's thoughts the previous night. With a final scream of denial, Craig flung his whole body into the door, knocking it inwards enough that the chair tucked behind it went scattering across the floor.

"Craig!" He finally noticed his sister's voice, and he turned to her, his full furious temper aimed solely in her direction.

" _What_?!" He spat, marveling at the way she actually shrank away from him. "Stay the fuck out of this, it has nothing to do with you!" He fumed, before clambering over the discarded chair and hurrying up the ladder at the end of the room. He scrambled onto the School roof, his heart racing as his thoughts finally cleared enough for him to process the sight awaiting him.

His racing heart stopped altogether, a violent sudden stop which had him gasp for breath and clutch at his chest in shock. Tweek sat on the wrong side of the School railing, his legs dangling as he stared off towards Stark's Pond. Craig could just hear the words which seemed to drift over to him from the blond, before his mind went blank with static, as Tweek released the railing.

_"Only you."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry again for screwing up the first attempt. I promise not to be so awful with the final chapter, which I would hope to have ready by the end of the week (but I probably won't because I suck)
> 
> I want to take a minute to say how wonderful you have all been, your continued reading, commenting and general awesomeness has been so inspiring and I cannot thankyou all enough for the flood of support you have given me. I am beyond words, for the amazing people you are.
> 
> Thankyou so much; see you next chapter ; )
> 
> x My love to you all x


	6. Only You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone who has commented, bookmarked, kudos'd - hell, everyone who has just READ this; you are all AMAZING AND WONDERFUL PEOPLE AND THIS WOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN FINISHED WITHOUT YOU

Tweek had been expecting more of an impact. He had expected a long fall, that was more like floating, before a sudden and definitely painful stop. He frowned, staring up at the clouds, wondering how he could see clouds at all; he had been hoping the fall would open the door to the white world he had dreamed of at Kenny's house, that he would have found his Craig there, waiting for him with his soft smile and his eyes full of stars.

He tried to remember past the end of the song, but the static in his head made it a hard and slow process to think at all. He felt like he was swimming after his own thoughts in a substance which seemed like a cross between treacle and glue. He remembered releasing the rail, the calmness of Stark's pond stealing any fear that managed to trickle past the numbing white noise in his head. After that came a faint pain to his chest, and his breath expelling in a huge whoosh from his lungs, before his back hit the roof. He raised a hand to rub absently at his chest, trying to figure out why it had hurt so suddenly and why his breath had been stolen. He couldn't remember.

He was shaken from his slowly filtering thoughts, when he was roughly snatched from the ground and slammed into the nearest wall, which so happened to be the very wall his painting of Craig's eyes had been, though they were now smeared with dripping yellow paint. Tweek whined at the thought, weakly attempting to turn and check the artwork was alright after such an assault, despite his own attempt to erase it.

"What the  _hell_ were you just fucking thinking, Tweek?!" A familiar voice growled at him, and he ceased his efforts to turn and check the wall at his back. He slowly dragged his eyes to meet the furious glare of the boy he loved, and he felt the static in his mind increase its efforts to drown out his coherency. He smiled, wrapping his arms around Craig's neck, despite the angry grasp the other boy had on his clothing.

"I was looking for you." Tweek sighed. "It worked, I made it back. I found you." He whispered, attempting to lean forward against the pressure of Craig's arms against his chest so that he could nuzzle the other boys throat. He whined slightly when Craig only tightened his hold, keeping the little distance he could between them.

"Back  _where?"_ Craig demanded, frowning down at him. "What the hell are you-"

"No, no, no, no, no..." Tweek's eyes widened, his hands curling into claws on Craig's shoulders, as the dark haired girl appeared, fully bedecked in shadows, like the demon she was. The static in his mind stuttered, and then seemed to snap like an over-stretched elastic band. Reality flooded in, unwanted and unwelcome. "No, no, no! You can't be here! He's mine here!  _Go away!_ " He cried, squeezing his eyes tight shut and burying his face into Craig's shirt.

Craig frowned, looking over his shoulder to see what had made Tweek so suddenly switch personalities. He grimaced at the sight of his sister, hovering by the fire escape hatch. "Really,  _really,_  bad fucking timing." He said slowly, his hands loosening in Tweek's shirt to curl around his shoulder's and embrace the blond instead, hoping to reassure him and finally get some sense out of him. "Fuck off." Craig said, pointing back to the ladder with his middle finger. Chris bit her lip, hesitant to leave the two in such a state, but Craig was in no mood to listen to her with Tweek in such a state.

"You want to admire your handiwork, is that it?" He spat, his hand tangling into Tweek's wild mane, as the blond twitched fearfully at his loud tone. Craig took a deep breath, and tried again to make his sister leave. "I need you to leave  _now_ , so I can make sure he's ok.  _You,_ are freaking him out, so _please;_ leave." He bit out, though he glared furiously at her the entire time. Chris hesitated a moment longer, before she finally nodded and headed back down the ladder, leaving the two alone to try and fix each others problems.

"Tweek," Craig said softly, though he still felt the fierce pounding of his heart. He wasn't sure how he was still standing, the shock from Tweek's almost demise still haunting him whenever he closed his eyes. He took a deep breath, and tried to calm his rapidly whirling mind, trying to make sense of the events he had witnessed since stepping onto the roof.

He remembered Tweek, his hands releasing the railing as he moved to slip from the building, and he remembered his own heart seemingly freezing mid beat in his chest. He'd been certain he was too late, and that this terrible image would be his last sight of Tweek. The blond's name had risen in his throat, a scream of denial that was never released, when a second blond head came into view.

He wasn't sure where Kenny came from, or why he wasn't even surprised to see him, appearing from nowhere with a pissed off expression on his face, his foot colliding with Tweek's chest enough to send the blond hurtling backwards onto the roof. The pissed off expression faded when he turned to Craig, a determined jab of the finger in Tweek's direction more than enough for the noiret to understand the intention, before Kenny disappeared from view once more. Craig felt a minor concern for the younger blond, but his fury and relief at Tweek had overwhelmed him, and he'd rushed to the boys side without further consideration of Kenny McCormick or his current situation. "Tweek," he tried again, stroking the blond's hair gently in an attempt to calm his haphazard sobs.

Tweek shook his head, wanting to remain buried in the feel and smell of Craig all around him. He wept for his lost haven, his private castle where he and Craig would have been together forever. All lost, crumbled beneath the girl's boot heel like the white castle had melted in his dream. He could hear Craig gently calling him, could feel his fingers carding slowly through his hair, but the weight of the guilt in his heart stopped him from being able to enjoy the touch as he would have previously. He mourned for his lost haven, whilst also feeling immensely guilty for his actions. His head, once so fuzzy from the static white noise which numbed him to the real world, was finally clear and his mindless intentions terrified him.

Although it was true his parent's would likely have just carried on as normal, it wouldn't have been fair to land that kind of guilt onto Craig's shoulders, to make the boy feel responsible for his actions. Tweek could hardly say he loved the noiret so much, if he was willing to do something so drastic without even explaining himself. Even if the noiret  _had_ already found someone else, he hadn't even thought to leave a note to state it wasn't his fault; that Tweek was just broken anyway.

"Tweek-"

" _Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!_ " Tweek screamed, covering his ears with his hands as best he could. As much as he wanted to listen to Craig talk forever, he couldn't stand to hear such sympathy and calmness when he couldn't keep the other boy. If he was going to go with her, better for him to do it angry than kindly. " _Gah!_ Don't you see what I am? Don't you  _Gah! see_ what I was about to do?! How can you  _Aargh!_ still be here talking to me! Just go already!" He cried, trying hard to wriggle away from Craig without actually removing his hands from his ears, in case the noiret actually whispered more sweet nothings into his ears, only to disappear with that dark haired girl once more. Tweek couldn't stand it, his heart was breaking.

"Tweek, I need you to listen to me real close..." Craig began, but he could feel Tweek shaking his head against his chest, adamantly trying to escape his tight embrace. Craig wasn't sure how to get the blond's attention. On the one hand, he was of half a mind to knock some sense into Tweek with a jab to his jaw. However on the other hand, Craig and Tweek had fought once before, and he didn't really want the blond to fight back blindly when they were on a roof. He ignored the tiny part of his heart which screamed he could never hit Tweek again, with the fiery remains of his fury at seeing the blond let go of the railing.

"Tweek!" Craig roared, finally losing patience with the blond. Tweek looked up at him, shocked enough by the noiret's loud tone of voice. "Goddammit will you fucking  _listen_ to me?!" He demanded. Tweek stared up at Craig with his wide green eyes still leaking tears from the corners. Craig clicked his tongue in annoyance, moving his arm from around Tweek's shoulders to gently wipe the tears away. Craig stared down at the blond, and felt his body relax for the first time in weeks. He let his thumb continue to rub absently over Tweek's cheek, as he frowned and tried to find the right words, now he finally had the other boys attention.

Tweek stared at Craig, his breath still caught somewhere in his gut from the older boys loud order for him to listen, despite the fact the noiret hadn't said anything else since for him to listen to. Craig's thumb on his cheek was highly distracting, and he could feel his cheek growing hot beneath the gentle touch. Craig frowned down at him with such a determination, Tweek was almost tempted to laugh at his consternation. The noiret wasn't good with communication, often taking several minutes to string even just three words together. Tweek let his eyes roam over the other boy's face, taking in the vague dark circles around his eyes, and the odd and not quite straight position of his hat.

He reached up with a shaky hand to tug the chullo into its proper place, but the movement seemed to take Craig by surprise, so lost in his staring as he had been. Craig's eyes drifted closed, as Tweek gently stroked down the slightly mussed hair, before just as gently readjusting the chullo. When his dark blue eyes reopened, Tweek's breath finally escaped him in a rush, for they seemed even deeper than the star filled ones he had drawn and destroyed on the wall behind his back.

"Tweek-"

Tweek stared with wide eyes, uncertain if he was supposed to move, as Craig's lips suddenly pressed softly but firmly against his own. His heart thudded painfully fast, a staccato beat against his rib-cage which the other boy must surely be able to feel. Tweek squeaked in surprise, a sound not unlike Stripe the fourth often made, and Craig began to withdraw, as if waking up from a dream. All at once, Tweek didn't want Craig to move at all. He flung his arms around the other boys neck and drew him close, needing to feel his body pressed against him. He pressed his mouth against Craig's once more, parting his lips to gently press his tongue against the seam of Craig's lips. When the noiret opened with a groan, Tweek felt a flood of victory flood his entire body, his soul humming with the happiness and rightness of the moment. If this was what kissing was about, then Tweek was most definitely prepared to experiment more. A  _lot_ more.

Craig was lost in Tweek's kiss. He hadn't meant to kiss the blond originally, he had been about to explain, to make sure the blond knew the truth about his shitty sister, her asshole father who he absolutely refused to associate with, about his feelings. Instead of words, came the overwhelming urge to pull the blond close, to press himself against every crevice of the other boy and make sure he had no chance to ever doubt his feelings for him again. He made no conscious thought to kiss the blond, one moment he was searching for words, the next he was lost in his green eyes and then his lips were pressing against the blond's. He almost withdrew, his senses returning just slightly at the other boys uncomfortable squeak, but Tweek had refused to allow him to retreat.

Craig's lips parted, his mouth yawning wide as he pressed closer to Tweek, attempting to devour the other boy. Tweek's fingers scrabbled desperately at his shoulders, tugging him closer before pushing him away so that he could change the angle of their kiss, before he tugged him closer once more. The cycle repeated, but Craig was lost entirely in the feeling of his tongue being tentatively stroked by Tweek's. The blond tasted like toffee, and Craig was surprised momentarily that it wasn't coffee.

Tweek began to shake, his hands sliding to cup Craig's cheeks. The unadulterated desire burning in his blood was almost boiling him alive, as he desperately tried to lick as much of Craig's mouth as his tongue could reach, trying to map the entire cavern out for his memory later. When his fingers began to twitch against Craig's cheeks, the noiret seemed to finally be made aware of his trembling, and began to withdraw from the kiss once more. Tweek whimpered, not wanting the moment to be over already, wanting to savor it, to live in it for the rest of his life.

Craig tapered small kisses to the side of Tweek's mouth, across his cheek and to his throat, relishing in the tiny gasps and pants the blond made. He smiled, pressing a final kiss to the blond's erratic pulse in his throat, before raising his head to stare fondly at the younger boy. He frowned at the apprehensive expression he was met with, deciding to immediately jump into his explanation rather than let the blond get lost in his own thoughts once more.

"Tweek, I am so sorry." Tweek's eyes snapped into sharp focus, and Craig grinned, pleased he had managed to capture the blond's utter attention so readily. "There's two reasons why. One; is that I never did that before." Craig smiled softly at the bark of surprised laughter that escaped Tweek, the blond's hands rushing to his mouth to silence himself even as his eyes began to water. "The second, well it's a lot longer than that..." He reluctantly removed one hand from Tweek, though he felt a thrill of pleasure course through him at the displeased frown he received from Tweek, when he was no longer touching him with both hands. He dug into his pocket for his phone, pulling the device out and opening up his messages. "This," he said, gently removing Tweek's hand from his shoulder and placing the phone into it, the countless messages he had sent to the blond open and ready for him to scroll through. "It's every message I sent you over the past few weeks... I'm sorry you didn't get them. I'm sorry I was an ass, and I didn't come find you right away. I thought you were avoiding me..."

Tweek scrolled through the messages, his finger shaking each time he lifted it from the screen. His heart pounded, his pulse soared, his mind raced with the impossibility of it all, as well as the remnants of the other boys kiss. He snapped his head up when Craig trailed off uncertainly, catching the noiret rub at his neck awkwardly. He frowned, glancing back at the phone before offering it back to the boy.

"Wh-"

"She's not what you think." Craig said suddenly, his phone forgotten in Tweek's hand as the noiret grasped Tweek's shoulders roughly, squeezing as if desperate for Tweek to believe him. "She's not my girlfriend... she never would have been anyway, because I already had you..." Craig rambled briefly, before turning red and clearing his throat. Tweek almost laughed at his expression, so obviously horrified to have been so emotionally involved that he lost control of his tongue. The noiret's face twisted, as if the next words he wanted to say were already leaving a bad taste in his mouth. "She's... my sister, Tweek. She's my  _twin_  sister, and she's an asshole, like... urgh,  _our_ father. And please don't make me repeat any of that, I feel dirty enough just from saying it once."

Tweek felt his pounding heart stutter to a halt in his chest, and he slowly raised a hand to rub at it absently. He stared at Craig, a pressure building in his head as the words sank in to his mind.  _Not my girlfriend. I already had you._ Tweek moved his hand from his chest slowly, stretching it out until it collided gently with Craig's head. Tears dripped from his eyes uncontrollably, and he bit his lip to contain a sob as the pressure in his head finally burst, his emotions overwhelmed by the relief and happiness.

"You're such an asshole..." Tweek whispered, laughing lightly at his own words. He leaned forward and allowed his forehead to collapse onto the noiret's chest. "All this time, I thought that you weren't interested, that you had moved on and this was nothing but fake to you... You never told me about her..."

"I never told anyone about her," Craig quickly said, uncertain if things were going well or badly now that he was unable to see Tweek's emotionally expressive eyes. "It's not like she's a secret or anything, I just don't talk about her. She was in nursery with us, but the asshole, her... urgh, I can't believe I have to say it again," he sighed, closing his eyes as he barely suppressed a shiver of disgust. His mouth twisted in displeasure at the thought of the words, let alone forcing them through. " _Our,_ urgh, father... he didn't agree with the court's assigning sole custody to our mom after their divorce. He was a drunk, a mean drunk, and he hit mom more times than I honestly like to remember... He snuck in one day when she was at work, hit the babysitter with a baseball bat and grabbed Chris. Soon as he reached for me I screamed while I tried to get the hell away from him, and it was lucky as hell that mom came home early and heard me. Asshole cut his losses and made of with Chris, which killed a part of my mom, but; she saved me, and she focused on that even as she tried to get Chris back. After years of getting nowhere we kinda accepted we were never gonna find her though."

Tweek turned his face, still leaning against Craig's chest, listening to the noiret's racing heart as he explained his family history to him. Tweek couldn't imagine the pain of losing a sibling, especially a twin, they were supposed to be even more connected then normal siblings, or so he had read. " _Jesus Christ..._ " He whispered, twitching violently. A hand instantly settled in his hair, calming him immediately, and he pressed closer into Craig's chest in response.

"She turned up herself, a few weeks back. Said she ran away and she missed us so much." Craig scoffed, gritting his teeth briefly at what he could only assume were more lies to instill herself into their lives. "When she started School with us, I planned to introduce you both, but she kept getting carried away with everyone we walked past, and it was like every single thing she wanted to do I had to be there for. Then I finally got you two together, and it was only for like, minutes. You were so kind, and let her borrow your phone; trusting her because she was new and I she was with me..." Craig growled, his hand tightened in Tweek's hair. "And right away,it was class time. She did it then, best as I can tell. She switched your sim for a spare one, and re-saved my number on it. Every time we text each other these past weeks; everything went to her, and it was like this chasm was there between us..."

Tweek finally raised his head from Craig's chest, meeting the dark blue eyes he had so recently dreamed about. "I s-should have come talk to you." He admittedly lowly, his eyes quickly lowering shamefully. "Every time I saw her beside you, there was this... this pain, this ache where my heart was supposed to be. Except, the more I saw her, always right beside you, the more my heart just seemed to disappear entirely. Everything hurt, all the time, and I started skipping class because I couldn't even handle seeing you alone anymore... She was so imprinted on all my thought's of you, I..." Tweek swallowed heavily, his throat bobbing slightly with the action. "Then, I had this dream when I was at Kenny's last nigh-"

"You were at McCormick's?" Craig demanded suddenly, holding Tweek at arm length as he stared down at the blonde. Tweek nodded mutely, surprised by the sudden outburst. "I'm gonna fucking kill him, that fucking little asshole. I goddamn knew it!"

"W-What..?" Tweek squeaked, confused by Craig's sudden irritation.

"McCormick text me last night, replied to my asking everyone where you were." Craig frowned down at him. "I tried to call you, and Chris's phone rang. Three times. So I figured, all was not as it seemed... Soon as I worked out what she had done; I had to see you. I wanted to explain it all right there Tweek, but you goddamn ran away! So I text everyone we know, even Cartman, and asked them to let me know if they found you. McCormick text me late last night... but he wouldn't tell me where you were."

Tweek chuckled nervously, uncertain how to feel about Kenny's apparent late night talk with Craig, but certainly feeling awkwardly ashamed of himself for panicking so thoroughly at the shop when he saw Craig and his,  _sister._ He shivered unconsciously, not sure he would ever be used to the idea of Craig having an, apparently evil, twin sister. He fiddled with a non existent thread on his shirt. "Well, I wasn't exactly in the best way by that point..." Tweek confessed. Craig frowned, and Tweek resolved to explain the best he could.

"I, when I saw you coming to the shop, all I could think was this was finally it; you were coming to say it was over. And I couldn't take it, I couldn't stand the thought of it! Of her!" Tweek fumed, his breathing erratic as he tried to explain his emotions and reasoning at the time. "It was like there was this, white noise in the background and, it was both weirdly calming but also terrifying as hell. I ran all the way to Stark's Pond, and I just sat there looking at the stars, thinking of you, until I realized I couldn't stay there anymore." Tweek finally drew a deep breath, trying to calm himself so he could remember things properly, rather than just shadows of the memories. "Kenny found me, and I went to his because, well, I figured it'd be the last place you would look for me..." He admitted sheepishly, glancing up to see Craig frowning flatly, clearly unimpressed with the blond's confession.

"I don't know how long it was before I fell asleep, but I had one of the most fucked up dreams I have ever had dude, and that's saying something for me." Craig nodded his head, understanding that Tweek's lack of sleep was both a blessing and a curse. A curse because he was so often sporting such dark circles around his eyes, and suffered paranoia to the extreme. A blessing, because Tweek's dreams were more fucked up than an elephant that tried to fuck a pig.

"I can't explain it, so I'm not gonna try." Tweek said, looking away with a faint blush to his cheeks. Craig allowed one of his thumbs to drift to the rosy skin once more, gently stroking it while the blond attempted to explain what he could. "I don't know, it was like a fog in my head. It made everything seem all, floaty?" He said uncertainly, before nodding his head. "And it was like this static was just, always there; it was blocking everything. It cut off all the pain, but it took away all my rational thought's too... I was kinda, still asleep, if that makes sense? And then this morning, at my parents shop, I heard this song... it all just kind of clicked together somehow."

"What song..?" Craig asked, his curiosity immediately spiking because of Tweek's blush darkening.

"Doesn't matter..." Tweek mumbled, before clearing his throat. Craig made a mental note to ask repeatedly until the other finally caved once they were finished on the damn roof. "I just remembered this key from my dream, and it was all twisted; and I could only think that the key was twisted, was sick, because of me. Because I was trying so hard not to let you go, that it was making everything I felt for you all twisted and, I had to let you go to make the key better again, so I could use it to find you in the castle from my dream..."

Craig was silent for a moment, thoughtfully watching the nervously twitching blond. "You realize that without you actually explaining your dream, this is a thousand times harder for me to understand..?" He finally asked. Tweek flushed a deep pink, and nodded his head at the ground. Craig sighed, and slipped his thumb beneath the blond's chin, raising his head even though the blond stubbornly kept his eyes on the ground. Craig smiled despite himself, pecking a small kiss to a rosy cheek before he spoke again. "I don't think the key was sick and twisted because of you Tweek, I don't think you did anything wrong. Well, except for the whole  _suicide_ thing, which we are so talking about later." Tweek rolled his eyes, but finally met his gaze afterwards, admittedly looking sheepish.

"I think maybe the key was both of us, I think deep down, you knew something was off with the whole situation." Craig said. Tweek frowned, not liking the simplicity of the explanation, nor the implications behind it. "I think, that key, if you could see it now; wouldn't be sick and twisted anymore." Craig said assuredly. Tweek wasn't entirely convinced, but he let Craig believe the idea, deciding it was after all, a much better conclusion than his own had been.

"So, your um..." Tweek began, gesturing towards the ladder briefly. "Your  _sister,_  is there a reason for all this stuff she put us through, or uh, is she just..." Tweek gestured to his head and looped his finger a couple times, poking his tongue out as he crossed his eyes. Craig's burst of laughter was entirely worth the effort, despite Tweek already knowing that it was unlikely the girl was crazier than he was.

"Ahem, yeah actually, yeah..." Craig chuckled, trying to curb his laughter. Tweek just smiled, and leaned back against the wall behind him. "Asshole heard about us." Tweek blinked twice, gesturing between himself and Craig, and frowning at the confirming nod he received. "Yep. Skeeter happened to be buying some stock from him, and he mentioned you and I were doing really well. After that I expect he plied him with freebies to keep him talking, and he sent Chris down to break us up, to 'fix things' as Chris keeps calling it." Craig scowled.

Tweek's heart thudded painfully, the thought of losing Craig a very real pain in his chest. He tried to push it aside, but Craig clearly saw straight through his efforts, leaning close to trail his nose against Tweek's. "Like it's even possible to fix something," Craig murmured, his mouth slowly lowering towards Tweek's. "When it's not even broken." Tweek felt his heart speed up, crashing hard against his chest, as Craig's lips settled softly over his own. His eyes locked onto Craig's dark blue orbs, which were watching his reaction closely, as if staring straight into his soul.

Tweek whimpered, and Craig could feel the heat building in his gut as his arousal grew. He licked at the seam of Tweek's lips, eager to taste him once more. Tweek opened willingly, his green eyes vibrant but just tinted with the beginnings of lust, as he stared up at Craig. He desperately wanted to hear more of those sounds from the blond. He curled one hand into the blonds hair, the other around his waist, pulling him tightly against him. Tweek arched against him of his own accord, seemingly just as eager as Craig was to feel their bodies pressed as close together as possible. He drew his lips away from the blond's, softly kissing across his jaw to his neck as Tweek tangled a hand into his hair, knocking his chullo hat to the floor.

" _Nngh!_ " Tweek gasped, like a softer version of his usual twitchy outbursts. Craig's lips were like fire against his skin, the throat of his neck too sensitive to the foreign touch of the noiret's soft kisses. " _Nngh! Craig!_ " He murmured, almost grinding himself upwards as heat began to pool in his groin. As much as he had dreamed of this moment, as much as he desperately hated the thought of Craig's lips ever leaving his skin, he didn't want to lose his virginity on the School roof, which he was going to do soon, if he didn't stop things now.

"Craig," he forced out, weakly pressing against the other boys chest. Craig moved away willingly enough, his expression slightly dazed and his eyes glazed as his brow creased in confusion that Tweek refused to admit looked adorable on the older boy. "I... I don't think we should do this... here..." He eventually stuttered, feeling his face turn what he was sure was a deep shade of red.

"..." Craig hesitated a moment, before clearing his throat and stepping back from Tweek, though he made sure to catch a hold of the blond's hand as he moved. Tweek looked incredibly pleased by this, and even more so when Craig raised their linked hands and kissed each of Tweek's fingers with lingering kisses. Craig tried to breath, but his chest felt clogged. The smothering sensation grew, his temperature rising until he almost felt sick with the need to speak. "I-love-you." He blurted hurriedly, feeling his face burn with embarrassment at such an emotional display. Tweek stared at him, his mouth slightly slack from surprise, before the blond's eyes seemed to clear a little and he grinned shyly.

"I love you too, Craig." Tweek said quietly, lowering his eyes as he bit his bottom lip. He glanced up through his lashes, almost laughing at the smug aura surrounding Craig from hearing his feelings were returned. "Do you,  _Gah!_  I mean... would you like  _Aargh!_ ditch today, and come over my house?" Tweek asked, his voice catching briefly until he cleared his throat. "I, my,  _gah! Ahem,_ my parents will be out at the shop til, um... later..." 

Craig couldn't stop the grin from splitting his face, for once not even caring how goofy he looked. "Sure." He said, though his heart raced at the very thought. He didn't know what to expect at Tweek's house, but knowing how the other boy felt about him, knowing that the blond finally knew how  _he_ felt, was enough to make him giddy with unfamiliar happiness.

Tweek ducked down to collect Craig's hat from where it fell to the ground, using the moment to hide his red face. He wasn't sure what to expect, but he for once felt like he was looking forward to finding out.

"Tweek," Craig asked, as the blond replaced his chullo hat atop his head.

"Mhmm?" Tweek responded vaguely.

"What's with all the creepy stalker paintings up here?" Tweek groaned, glancing around at the half destroyed artwork. He felt a moment of sadness, as he turned to look at his favorite picture of Craig's eyes. The paint smearing the art was smudged clear across the painting, but thinly, as if looking at the piece through yellow sunglasses. Tweek's shirt felt oddly heavy, and he sighed at the thought of having to explain it to his parents later. "I like this one." Tweek blushed hard enough that he felt the heat from his cheek's on his shoulders. Craig's comment filled him with confidence and he tugged lightly on their joined hands.

"I'll show you the proper copy, I have a photo at home." Tweek said, leading Craig to the ladder that lead down the side of the School. He scrambled down quickly, with Craig following right after him. He glanced briefly back to the roof, making a mental note to clean up properly when he came back to School, tomorrow. He grinned as Craig too his hand again, leading him around the School. There was a crowd out the front, which covered their leaving easily. 

Although Tweek half wanted to see what was going on, he was much more invested in spending an entire day alone with Craig, with no interruptions from the outside world. The thought made his heart skip a beat. Tweek began humming to himself, his excitement building as he sneaked glances at Craig every so often.

"Oh my god!" Stan Marsh's voice cut across the crowd, which parted enough for Tweek to just spot an orange parka jacket. "Someone killed Kenny!" 

"Those bastards!" Kyle Broflovski's angry cry seemed to echo around them, and Tweek paused briefly to consider going over and asking what had happened. He looked up at Craig, who was staring at the scene himself with a kind of shocked disbelief. Tweek chuckled without amusement, tugging Craig gently along the path, away from the School and the crowd.

"I'll just ask him about it tomorrow." Tweek said, beginning to hum to himself as he led Craig to his house. Craig raised a brow at the blond, but ultimately said nothing. Tweek laughed lightly, knowing that he seemed crazy to the noiret at the moment. But in hours he would forget that Kenny McCormick had died, and Tweek would not. He looked forward to being able to tell the younger blond about the things he had missed, and just hoped that the pervert wasn't watching in some magic mirror down in Hell, when he finally got Craig back to his house.

Tweek continued to hum to himself the whole way to his house, Craig not once interrupting him to ask about it, seeming content just to listen to him. When they finally reached his door, he fumbled one handed with the key, unwilling to release Craig lest it the noiret disappear in a burst of glitter like in his dream. He slammed the door behind them once they were inside, and led the other boy to his room with a racing heart and a rapidly sweaty palm. He hummed quietly, as he threw his things on the floor, and stood awkwardly in his room, not sure what he was supposed to do next.

Craig stared down at Tweek, not entirely certain what to do now he was here in Tweek's house, in Tweek's  _room,_ with Tweek looking so utterly awkward and still humming the damned song he wouldn't tell him about. He sighed and dropped his things to the floor by Tweek's, lowering his head to touch his forehead to the blond's. Tweek smiled shyly at him, his hands coming to rest around his neck as Craig's own hands settled around the blond's waist. Tweek's smile grew, his humming louder until he stopped suddenly and laughed lightly. He looked up at Craig with clear green eyes that stole his breath, and the noiret was unable to stop himself from returning the sappy smile to the blond.

" _Only you."_  Tweek breathed.

And then he kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been one of the fastest fic's I have ever written, and I wouldn't have done it without all the amazing support you have all given me. This is by far my favorite fic to date; though I have many more stories planned for this pairing - which I can finally start now, I guess!
> 
> I cannot thank you all enough for your patience and support. Your comments have, they've floored me. I have appreciated every single one, and if I didn't reply to anyone personally I am sorry; but I do so now-
> 
> THANK YOU. YOU ARE AMAZING.
> 
> Please let me know what you thought to the ending, I may write a companion fic sometime, but who knows - there's lots of others to free first!
> 
> x My love to you all x

**Author's Note:**

> Mmkay, well this was SUPPOSED to be a one shot but it got too big for me to really keep it flowing nicely. Anyway, I've broken it up into at least two - but possibly even three chapters (baaaad me)  
> Also, I'm not sure the title fits - but uh, I was listening to the Flying Pickets version of the song, and well; it resonated and stuck so... yeah.
> 
> I hope you enjoy (thankyou for reading btw!) please let me know what you think and if you would like to read the rest :p
> 
> x My love to you all x


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